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my world By: tiffany on 11/10/2004; 7:19 PM What to say? Rather, what to write? Can I say what I think? Or just keep it inside? Do I have nothing but questions? Maybe not. I sit here and stare at the screen and think of the nothingness that makes up my life. I am nothing. I always was nothing. I always will be nothing. I have dreams sure but they will never come true. Like I said, I am nothing. I want to feel the warm, moist earth all around me. I want to close my eyes for ever. I dont want to do anything. I dont want to be anything. I want nothing because thats all Ill ever be. I want to see my arms turn red. I want to stain my bed, my room, my walls. I want them to realize they cant stop me. I will always be like this. I will always be me. They cant change me just because they dont like me and my opinions. I want them to find my body and to scream in horror. I want to haunt them for the rest of theirs stupid, fucking lives. I want them to be sick at the sight of my mutilated body. I want them to go insane at the pictures of my body. I want them to suffer, like did. I want the memory of me to stay with them until the die, by natural means or otherwise. I want to put them through hell. And I will look down and laugh at them in disgust.
RE: my world By: ScottN on 11/8/2004; 3:22 PM This is very powerful writing. That said, in case this is a cry for help, Tiffany, it will get better, honest. When I was in school, I was very nerdy, and one of the "out" crowd. My sister was the victim of a "queen bee". It gets better. You don't need Bree or her crew. Don't do anything rash like what you've talked about (self-mutilation, suicide), because it won't affect those you want to hurt (other than yourself), but it *will* hurt those you love, and who love you. Talk to someone. Anyone. Your minister, a trusted teacher, even your parents(!). They will understand. I know it seems like no one can understand what you're going through, especially adults, but many of us went through the exact same thing as kids. I know it sounds trite, but it is true. Please... reach out. You've done it here, now do it with someone you can have a face-to-face/heart-to-heart with.
RE: my world By: Seth Dillingham on 11/8/2004; 6:25 PM On 11/8/04, ScottN said: >in case this is a cry for help, Tiffany, it will get better, >honest. On the other hand, if this was just good fiction, then I have to say that Scott's not the only one who's impressed. For a similarly scary piece that I've *never* been able to get out of my head, see this one: <http://www.voicesofunreason.com/fullthread$1595#VU1595> Seth
RE: my world By: ashlee on 11/9/2004; 7:28 AM Hey sweety how r ya its ashlee from skool...oi i agree with ya sweety BREE HUDSON IS pretty fuked lol...i ahte the lil slut. love ya ashlee
RE: my world By: tiffany on 11/10/2004; 4:35 AM mmmm hello. thankyou, very much for reading my crappy crap....its not really a cry for help, but rather a statement for alot of people around me. i know there are many people who the sane way as i do....but yes the whole nothingness thing that is real and very much a part of my beliefs. but no it is not a cry for help, merely an expression for myself and alot of others. this girl made our lives hell and continues to to this day. everyday (today included), i go to school and hate my exsistance because of that girl. and it will never stop. it started the first day of grade one, i remember it quite clearly. but lets not think about that.....yes thankyou once again for reading my crap...there will be more to come i the future...in fact i have a story that coming along quite nicely... yours sincrely and gratefully, tiffany
RE: my world By: Richard Davidson on 11/12/2004; 4:34 PM Tiffany, Ashlee; when I was in high school, there was a jerk named Brad. And I mean, a JERK. I have better words for Brad, but there's no need for that kind of language here at voices, unless absolutely necessary. Brad used to beat up my friend, Tim. Brad used to pick on smaller people. In gym class, if you were playing volleyball and you missed the ball, Brad would scream at you and call you names. Brad was a privileged kid, whose parents had money. He was good at sports, and thought he was a hotty. I can't say whether or not he was, but he had a stupid haircut. Brad used to pick on a girl I once dated, and beat up her brother. One time, I was driving to Burger King at lunch, and Brad tried to pass me, and I kept speeding up, making it so he couldn't pass. Boy was he pissed. He screamed at me in line at Burger King, and I didn't care; in fact I thought it was funny. After Hish School, Brad died in the shower. No shit. He was just taking a shower, and he slipped, and I don't know if the head injury killed him, or if he drowned, but he was killed. I was really drunk one night at a local bar, and I ran into that girl I used to date, and she told me he was dead, and I said "good! The bastard got what he deserved." She cried, and said he wasn't so bad, and she would've never wished him dead, and tried to say all kinds of good things about him, but I reminded her that she had always HATED this guy, and now was in denial, due to guilt. I didn't have any guilt, because I always HAD wished he would die, and I felt like his death was my little gift from God. Over twenty years have passed, and although I am no longer glad Brad died at the tender age of about twenty or so, I still don't regret being glad at the time. That creep should've been nicer, and then I would've mourned his death, instead of celebrating. By the way, my life has always been better as I get farther and farther away from High School. Those kids were morons, and most of them peaked by the time they were 16. Now many of them are fat and stupid, and dying of bitterness and outright lack of worth. You are NOT "nothing." You are SOMETHING. You will triumph, and those people who you currently find so disturbing are the real nothings. Trust me. It always turns out that way, except for in the case of my friend Tim. (Remember Tim? I mentioned him in the first paragraph) Tim was gay, and had been abused by his father, and I do mean sexually abused. Tim was a confused young man, and he became a he-whore downtown; got AIDS, and was dead before he could see his late twenties. I'm sure the Devil reminds Brad of that every day, in HELL.
RE: my world By: tiffany on 11/17/2004; 9:41 AM i am in hell... my dear...we were all born into it....so the happy happy joy joys of this world can get fucked beacuse they are just blinding themselves thats all...but thankyou for reading my crap...i believe that most of the time you get what you give, though some of the time some of us are just unlucky beacuse people take their shit out on us...but i dont know all entire story i guess...but rather a summary. therefore i can not make judgement. we all handle things differently...and i get major mood swings....we can probably tell that within my writing hah...anywayz thanks again for reading my crap.... tiffany
RE: my world By: Richard Davidson on 11/18/2004; 10:37 PM http://stellar-one.com/poems/auguries_of_innocence__william_blake.htm Every Night & every Morn Some to Misery are Born. Every Morn & every Night Some are Born to sweet Delight. Some ar Born to sweet Delight, Some are born to Endless Night. We are led to Believe a Lie When we see not Thro' the Eye Which was Born in a Night to Perish in a Night When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light. God Appears & God is Light To those poor Souls who dwell in the Night, But does a Human Form Display To those who Dwell in Realms of day ~William Blake 1757-1827
RE: my world By: Chie Theresa Fujioka on 11/19/2004; 3:08 AM Tiffany, /you/ define yourself. And you are undoubtedly amazing and bursting with so much to give. So whatever some bitch says doesn't matter. And if it hurts, the paths of depression, suicide, self inflicted pain, are nothing to self-expression and art. Just a thought, and a hug. chie
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