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Your Mulberry Road

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Your Mulberry Road
By: Ben C on 10/30/2003; 2:16 PM

Floating down your street
A few more minutes and something neat
Is gonna happen

Walk through your door
Feet will touch your new carpet floor
And You’ll be home

I’ll breath a breath of relief
Day is over and you’re still alive
The night is just begun
Our night is young

This far
But no farther

Fell into a haunt
There was nothing you could do
You’re the first one to give yourself away

You fell into a haunt
I tried but there was nothing I could do
For you

You fell into a
You fell into the

Skyline
Waterline
Scramble and blur
Add sand and stir

Fell into a haunt &
Bullets free
Life’s frail
Our veins are soft
But our hearts are not
They’ve become
Hard as rock
Ohhh
Add sand and stir



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RE: Your Mulberry Road
By: Guillaume R. Cingal on 11/24/2003; 5:03 PM

This poem has a brilliant and burning nucleus (roughly lines 13 to 24) that irradiates beauty and mystery well into the first and last stanzas.

I am not too sure about the last lines, though.
Don't they sound slightly conventional after the luminous exuberances at the core of the song?

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RE: Your Mulberry Road
By: Ben C on 11/28/2003; 8:08 AM

Mr. Cingal, (if that's your real name!)

I think you've given too much credit to the middle of the poem, which I don't think is really that special. Therefore the ending is automatically a lesser one.

PS, However, I'd be curious to see what you change about the ending, having given up on this one altogether myself.

Seriously, Ben T. Costen

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RE: Your Mulberry Road
By: Guillaume R. Cingal on 11/30/2003; 3:49 PM

That's: my real name. That's: an embarrassing question, as I am pretty sure I have no suggestions. That's: always difficult to comment upon without being harsh with. That was: an almost ungrammatical third point. Those were: my non-replies.

Yet, I'll think it over!!!

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