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All other priorities rescinded By: Mark Morgan on 7/16/2001; 9:08 PM In my backpack is a hiker's first aid kit. I got the idea of carrying emergency supplies in my backpack from Raul Ochoa. Raul was a very kind, very mellow man who worked at the same company I work at, calling up strangers and making them spend time with us on the phone. Looking at the first aid kit in my backpack today, I've got that thing. You know, that thing. Right at the bottom of where you breathe. That thing. I came to work today, and two women called me aside: "Mark, Raul is dead." They brought us together later and told us all en masse. Real Men cry at the loss of a good person. My feelings remain complex. Even now, I am saddened. I hardly knew Raul, but the fact that I'm never going to have to sit next to him and have the sorry bastard kick my ass at surveying is an idea I can't wrap my mind around. Raul had asthma, and the story as far as I know is that he had a severe asthma attack sometime Friday night. He knocked on a neighbor's door and told them, and asked them to call 911, and they did. 911 did not arrive in time. I have been a Christian, and a Buddhist, and an atheist. I have the deepest respect for those who have beliefs other than mine, if they hold them with honesty and dignity. The daytime supervisor spoke simply that she believed something went on. I was not offended. (The guy who's taking his Asian heritage a little too serious, stage-whispering "Energy can't be destroyed" like an actor in a bad radio play, however, was merely intruding on our private pains. At least that's how I felt.) This is a time for reflection and understanding. I am an atheist, and I truly do not believe we outlast our life here. Where does that leave me, when death arrives? At a loss, but perhaps neither more nor less loss than if I followed a religion. The Dali Lama often speaks about being spiritual without being religious. He is a fan of actually going out and doing things, and worrying less about the ritual and trapping and structure of "church" or "temple" or "monastery". Is this perhaps where my future lies? Is it truly possible to have that deeply satisfying spirituality while still holding onto my honest belief that life is life, and that there is no supernatural? Surely a time not for answers, but for reflection.
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