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Usage of Quotes 6: Great Moments in Film Dialouge By: Brian Webber on 10/21/2001; 4:55 PM We've all been watching a movie, and heard a line that made us go "What the hell, did he actually say that?" We consider rewinding it, but can't find the remote. You want to ask someone next to you if they could translate that utterly bizzarre and seemingly pointless statement, but your totally alone. So it sticks in your brain, running around in there until seven days they find you dead in your bath tub and the ause is listed as anuerism. That ever happen to you? No? Well, anyway, on with the madness. "Just remember, men can see much better than they can think. A low-cut neck-line does more for a girl's future than the entire Brittanica encyclopedia." - Terry Moore, Peyton Place, 1957 OK, I'm not entriely sure who is insulted most. Men or women. Either way, this quote is just plain nasty. "The African killer bee portrayed in this film bears absolutely no relationship to the industrious, hardworking American honeybee to which we are indebted for pollinating vital crops that feed our nation." - Title card at the end of The Swarm, 1978 Oh gee, thanks for clearing that up. I wonder how Jesse Jackson would react to this film. "Will you stop calling me a lady? I'm not a lady, I'm an anthropologist!" - An actress in the Indonesian movie Lady Terminator, 1988 Oh your not a lady? So, that ISN'T a vagina between your legs there? If Men have penises, women have vagina, and hermaphrodites have both, then what DO anthropologists have? "These days they blame the atom for everything. Bad health, bad crops, bad weather. Now it's grasshoppers." - Actor in the 1957 movie Beginning of the End. Uh huh. Well. There's not much I can say about this one is there? Frankly I have no idea what the hell this guys meant. "We doan fail! Corbeau'z got sumzin' you never seen no gun lak zat... she squirts lead lak, lak zee hurrican." - One of the bad guys in North West Mounted Police, 1940. No ladies and gents, that was NOT a continuous series of typos. That was an actual piece of dialouge. "Aw man, you're jivin me! Look, man, I don't mind being a vampire and shit, but this really ain't hip." - From Blaxplotation film Scream, Blacula, Scream!, 1973. Ah the lost era of blaxplotation. Look at the near-Shakespearean perfection of that dialouge! ;-) "It's my birthday and I don't want to go to a mental hospital!" - Crystal Bernard, Slumber Party Massacre II, 1987. Well, I wouldn't either, but judging just from the title of your film I'd think that your brithday is the least of your worries. "Ever since Karen got killed it's been a real drag." - Teen party boy in The Horror of Party Beach, 1964 Yeah, nothing like a homicide to put a bummer on your day. "One thing's sure. Inspector Clay's dead. Murdered....And someobody's responsible!" - Police officer, Plan 9 From Outer Space, 1959 Nietzsche, Shakespeare, Dickens, Loveacraft... Wood. "You may know about corpses, fella, but you've got a lot to learn about women." - Policeman to mourge worker in Autopsy, 1978 The images that this quote conjures make me wanna throw up, how about you? "I tell you what it is, Fanducci. It's a big guy in a bulletproof dog suit. I know a serial killer when I see one." - Lawrence Tierney, Runestone, 1990 Yeah, remember the bulletproof dog suits that Manson, Bundy, and O.J. wore? "Without creativity, without life, then you are truly unable to go straight up the Devil's ass, look him right in the face, smile, and survive." - Nicolas Cage, Zandalee, 1991 Words of wisdom from a future Oscar winner (I can't believe this was the same guy who did Snake Eyes). "Don't you EVER touch the sacrificial fluids...okeydokey?" - Sam Raimi, Thou Shalt Not Kill...Except, 1987 Be honest people. Would you feel threatened by someone who said the word 'oakeydoeky?' "It's as dark as the inside of a cow's third stomach." - Description of a dangerous cave in What Waits Below, 1985 I thought cows only had two stomachs. "The dead look so terribly dead when they're dead." - The Razor's Edge, 1946 Really! You know everything! "Maybe I didn't kill him completely dead." - Brian Wimmer, Late for Dinner, 1991 I can't belive I share initials with that goober. "If we wake up dead, we know who to blame!" - Jennifer Delora, Robot Holocaust, 1987 And if I wake up asleep I'll know I'm still tired. "It's getting so it ain't even safe to be dead!" - Worried grave digger, Return of the Vampire, 1943 Apart from necrophiliacs, what do the dead really have to worry about? "Show me a crime and I'll show you the dirty picture that caused it!" - Cop about porno's effect in The Sinister Urge, 1961 I wanna see the pictures behind embezzlement! "Mr. Pleyel's been murdered! Get a doctor! Quickly!" - Phantom of the Opera, 1943 I see you are deceased. Take two of these and call me in the morning. "When the rabbit of chaos is pursued by the ferret of disorder through the fields of anarchy, it is time to hang your pants on the line of darkness. Wether they are clean or not." - Roger Moore, Spice World, 1997 I'm just gonna let that one roll around in your brain for awhile. "Isn't it strange how that lovely song reminds you of chicken salad!" - Joan Crawford, Autumn Leaves, 1956 I wonder exactly what song she's talking about. Or maybe I shouldn't. "The future is a drag, man. The future is a flake." - Beat chick in High School Confidential, 1958 Maybe the 'beat chick' and I are using different definitions of the term flake, but considering what being a flake usually menas, the future CANNOT be flakey, but the future is constant. Did I lose any of the readers there? "You know what I want to be? Nothing, you dig? If you can't dig 'nothing' you can't dig anything. Dig?" - John Phillip Law as a hippie in Skidoo, 1968 No wonder no one says 'you dig?' anymore. Mr. Law single-handedly ran it into the ground! "Sorry about your dad, kid, but people get killed in this town every day. That's Hollywood." - Policeman comforting a kid whose father has just been killed by a mummy in The Tomb, 1985 Could this be who Dre, Cube, and Eazy E had in mind when they wrote Fuck Tha' Police? "Would you allow me to come to your house and in your presence anesthetize your wife?" - Scientist to another scientist in Unearthly Stranger, 1964 There are quite a few disgusting jokes I could make here, but I think I'll just let them go. "I wanna be a lady. Will ya learn me?" - Halfbreed Indian girl Jennifer Jones in Duel in the Sun, 1946 This one simply makes my brain hurt. "I may be a liar, a cheat, a drunk, and a tramp, but I've got principles!" - Joanna Cassidy, All-American Murder, 1992 Um, well, what would those principles be exactly? "He's Big Head man, he is lousing around" - Strange English subtitle in kung fu classic Close Escape, 1988 Translations, translation, translation. "If your mother were alive, she'd turn over in her grave." - Anthony Quinn, Jungle Fever, 1991 Boy that would be quite a feat! "I've never heard of a healthy person dropping dead just because he had the desire to do so." - Suspicious doctor examining a body in The Cruse of the Doll People, 1961 I don't know. Willpower can do amazing things. "LOVE! HATE! JOY! FEAR! TORMENT! PANIC! SHAME! RAGE!" - Ad for Intermezzo, 1939 Yes, you too can be the next co-star on Ally McBeal! (I'm sorry. That was insensitive to people who are battling drug addiciton). "It must be the sulfur in the walls of his cave that has kept this creature all for all those years." - Someone in Eegah!, 1962 This is one of those satements that make you want to just nuke the whole planet and make the species start from scratch. Well, that's the end of the latest installment in my Usage of Quotes series. Now go to the hospital. I think your ears are bleeding.
RE: Usage of Quotes 6: Great Moments in Film Dialouge By: Brian Webber on 4/21/2001; 1:03 AM Ok, for the record, the Editing I did was remove the DeForest Kelley quote, because I thought it just didn't work. I alsdo corrected a spelling error.
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