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Lead the way By: Evan on 10/22/2001; 12:33 PM This is the second edition of Lead the Way, which is new and improved, and perhaps even weirder, but absolutely no fresh lemony scent. Those who state that the creativity of the modern person has dwindled make a quite astute observation. The problem has been long in coming and some blame it on television and movies. I, however, disagree with that assessment of the problem. In actual fact, the gradual purification of the water supply combined with the transition from lead cans to tin and aluminum cans causes the loss of creativity, not any wrong doing on the part of television and movie producers. Another contributing factor to the problem occurs with the advent of non-lead based paints. I therefore propose that society must enact measures that would introduce lead into the world's water supply, switch over to lead cans, and return to the tried and true lead based paints with their creativity-enhancing fumes. People who fear mass insanity or poisoning need not fear. Extreme creativity always gives birth to some degree of insanity. Therefore, it is no coincidence that the less creative people often classify the greatest creative geniuses, men such as Vincent VanGogh, Edgar Allen Poe, and Douglas Adams, as insane. As for the possibility of lead poisoning, I do not believe that poisoning is particularly likely; and in the long run, the increase in creativity would far outweigh any kind of physical dysfunction or death caused by lead. Lead's benefits are extremely evident in that an old can of lead-based paint; left open adjacent to the air intake for my air-conditioning system gave me the enlightenment which I now share with you. I wish everyone to reap the rewards of my great revelation but am fearful that the rich and powerful might hoard all the lead for themselves, on the basis that converting the cans, the piping and the paint to lead would be too expensive. They would then install lead piping in their own houses and only they would possess the great innovative properties of lead. Next the rich upper class people with their creative insights would establish an unfair monopoly in the arts. In reality, the cost of introducing lead into the water supply is minimal, since changing the pipes is not necessary. Changing the pipes probably costs too much, even though I personally believe that no expense is too high for the sake of the world's imaginations. A cheap alternative exist to thwart the machinations of the upper class. The public simply needs to rise up in protest and force the world's governments to introduce lead directly into everyone's water supply. As for switching to lead cans, the factories that produce the cans need only switch materials from aluminum and tin to lead. The factory workers who handle the lead would benefit from the lead slightly more than the majority of people but they deserve some compensation for the difficulty of their jobs. The paint industry does pose a bit of a problem, because the expense would be great for the major corporations who control the paint industry, to retool their factories. I know that the effort would be well worth the expense, but understand if the corporations wish to wait to see the results of the lead in the food and water before spending the money to grant the enhanced creativity induce by lead paint fumes. There are some few uninspired people who may be skeptical of my plans for lead, but they simply fear the future. The do not want times to change since they know that in the New Creative Order of Lead, the enlightened ones who partake of the sacred purity of lead will hopelessly outclass the skeptics. For the good of all, the lead partaking majority must therefore convert the skeptics to lead users or prevent them from interfering with the distribution of lead throughout the world. Support for my beliefs is somewhat sporadic but a researcher by the name of Dr. Zamphour has reported that "low levels of lead are linked to learning disorders". If low levels of lead cause learning disorders than obviously higher levels of lead would improve the thinking capacity of everyone. Logically, if a lead deficiency causes problems to the human mind then an increase in the amount of lead will prove beneficial. Another support for the benefits of lead comes from the ancient Roman Empire. It was one of the most advanced civilizations of its time. Their aqueducts used lead pipes and therefore the population of the empire was receiving generous quantities of lead. This caused the flowering of Roman art and architecture, as well as their engineering. Even after the empire fell to the more violent, less lead-infused barbarian civilizations, Rome's lead served as the spark of the Renaissance. Some skeptics might say that my great idea seems too extreme or insane. They propose that encouraging the people to read more books would solve the creativity crisis. They call me mad because I am now on a pinnacle of inspiration that only those who believe my words shall ever achieve.
RE: Lead the way By: Dorothy Marie on 4/8/2001; 1:17 PM I agree about E.G. Poe, Van Gogh, etc. about the lead, however, i am a bit sceptical. i don't think it could effectively offer enough creativity to the human race. we need something stronger. perhaps we should inquire of those extremely fortunate individuals residing in the local asylum what they used to acquire their creativity.
RE: Lead the way By: Evan on 4/8/2001; 4:48 PM Lysergic Acid, perhaps, or Psiloclybin? Since writing this I have found some much more potent stuff.
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