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More addictive than crack

More addictive than crack
By: Mark Morgan on 12/28/2000; 10:10 AM

<schwag>

jeans--according to my sister the only 29" waist 32" inseam jeans in the entire city of Canby, OR
silverware
gift certificate to Target, to buy more clothes
gift certificate to Mervyn's, to buy more clothes
green olives--I think my stepfather's family is a little at a loss as to what to buy the weird, skinny, sci-fi writing one
Hickory Farms gift pack--enough spreads to cover a football field...and eight crackers to put them on; why do they do that?
Chai tea in my stocking--I love tea; Santa's sneaky helper called me a couple of weeks ago "Mark, I'm going to get some of that tea you like to give your grandmother; what was the brand again?" I love my mom.

</schwag>

Not that I'm getting old, but I asked for clothes for Christmas.

My nephew got a Poo-Chi, a basic interactive dog from Tiger Electronics, the nice folks who inflicted Furby upon us last holiday season. You touch its nose, or pat it on the head, or clap and say "Good dog!" and the Poo-Chi becomes happy. You haven't lived until you've seen three adults and one five year old yelling "Good Dog!" at a plastic pet. Or until you've watched the weird, skinny, sci-fi writing one spend all Christmas day playing with the Poo-Chi. Hey, it sings songs!

When I demanded to be able to take it home, they all looked at me funny. What?

Great Christmas. How was yours?

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