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Bugs By: D. J. Dixon on 12/3/2005; 1:39 AM The bugs are in the room. The bugs are in my head. I scratch and itch. The bugs are in my bed. A slow, painful madness begins to envelop me. I itch one bite, then two. Then two by two. Four by four. My body blooms to life with irritating little red patches, I scratch myself to the point of bleeding. Something stops me, a voice, a warning; "If you scratch you'll only make it worse." Once again my mother's voice comes to me unbidden. The madness of my body starts to catch up with the madness of my mind. Scrathing, scratching at my own body's door. Venom induced frenzy consumes my body while I sleep. I wake up a little bloody. A little more crazy. Bug bombs. Bugspray. Itch cream. Medications. All in vain as I scratch a little more. With each scratch I lose a little more of myself. The beast within, my primal self screams to get out. I gaze upon the heavens and wonder how long I can hold out. I consider hell. Hell considers me, I think. A few more scratches and the insect takes a little more. I am left with a little less.
RE: Bugs By: Richard Davidson on 11/24/2005; 3:07 AM This is brilliant, but the punctuation and formatting need work. Please consider cleaning it up, as it is a worthy piece. Best line: "With each scratch I lose a little more of myself." Runner up: "Venom induced frenzy consumes my body while I sleep." I'm serious. This is really good. NOW FIX IT!
RE: Bugs By: Chie Theresa Fujioka on 11/26/2005; 8:34 PM i am reminded of philip k dick's a scanner darkly. *eugh*
Re: Bugs By: Mark Morgan on 11/27/2005; 4:16 PM We miss you, Chie!
RE: Bugs By: Chie Theresa Fujioka on 11/28/2005; 1:07 AM i'm 21 today!
Re: Bugs By: Mark Morgan on 11/28/2005; 1:25 AM Wow! Have on on me. On Nov 27, 2005, at 9:23 PM, Chie Theresa Fujioka wrote: > [Talkback about Poetry: Bugs by D. J. Dixon] > ---------------------------------- > > i'm 21 today! > > ---------------------------------- > This message copyright (c) 2005 Chie Theresa Fujioka > Please do not remove the [Msg#] from the subject line (it will be > removed automatically). > To unsubscribe: > Web archive: http://www.voicesofunreason.com/fullthread$9178#VU9178 > ------------------ Mark Morgan mark@voicesofunreason.com http://www.voicesofunreason.com/ "Too bad dark languages rarely survive."
RE: Bugs By: Richard Davidson on 12/1/2005; 12:15 AM Happy Birthday Chie! I had no idea you were just a kid. You write like a wise grown up. I am old, as old as time itself. Well, in my forties anyway.
RE: Bugs By: D. J. Dixon on 12/3/2005; 1:42 AM Richard, is that any better? Sadly, I have a brain made of equal parts swiss cheese and teflon. I'm glad to receive the critique.
RE: Bugs By: Richard Davidson on 12/7/2005; 12:57 AM Richard, is that any better? Sadly, I have a brain made of equal parts swiss cheese and teflon. I'm glad to receive the critique. Yes, that's better. You can also put < br > (without the spaces) at the end of each sentence or paragraph if you like. Your piece is excellent. I like it even better upon re-reading it. I like the way the style matches the subject matter, and the brevity that leaves the reader wanting more. Keep up the good work!
RE: Bugs By: judith dixon on 1/25/2006; 2:29 AM Loved it! I could really relate to it, since I'm sitting in the middle of it. Why didn't you show me this stuff? Why did I have to read it on the net after Brian told me about it.
RE: Bugs By: Chie Theresa Fujioka on 2/5/2006; 1:22 AM see richard, the difference between a grown-up and a youth is this: either can write well or poorly, but only one will read the other's (my) junk and still find something nice to say (: haha.. or something like that. where is my pencil sharpener???
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