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Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 10/23/2002; 10:46 AM Hell is a Fundamentalist Christian church in the city of Lemon Grove on Skyline Drive every Sunday between 10 and 11am. Here the congregation and I wait in methodical cherry wood rows smelling of fresh Murphy’s Oil. Sitting perched with our clown faces on, hands intertwined neatly on our laps and right leg placed homogeneously over the left. Broken light plays silently across our faces from stain glass stories of the bible. Sixteen century imitation chandeliers let down the vague illumination of electric candles. Glittering reflections from the overzealous podium cause the elderly in the front row to keep their sunglasses on inside the sanctuary. The décor alone is testimony of the church’s priorities. Dodging lavender and neon orange mushroom shaped haircuts, I attempt to peer down at the stage. Strutting like a Vegas show host in some end-of-the-strip hotel casino, pastor John makes his way onto the stage. He could have put Liberace to shame with his impudence. “Good morning fellow children of God,” he pronounces monotonously. Applause brakes out like firecrackers in a tunnel at his greeting. The band behind him on the podium starts to play an old hymn converted into a new age Christian rock song. People surrounding me chant along and clap simultaneously to the percussion machine. Today the spirit was not moving me to rock back and forth stiffly, flailing my hands in the air. I wince as my neighbor assaults me with his buoyant interpretation of “He is My Rock.” Patiently, I wait for the simulated rejoicing to end. Attending this church always feels to me like involuntary subjection to a weekly time delay. I cannot recall how we ever transition from one ritual to the next. At the moment, my interests are captivated by the large threads in my neighbor’s polyester slacks. My thoughts drift off, and I think about what doughnut I want from the coffee shop across the street. Pastor John finally silences the church body with his request for a choir member to lead us in prayer. A bulbous woman with a cranberry colored eighties-style office suit steps forward from the choir, knots her hands below her many chins and prays: “Dear Heavenly Father, we gather here today in your blessed presence.” Tiny pearls of perspiration accumulate just above her lips and below her hairline. I wonder to myself if people like her have to take a course on how to lead a prayer in front of a large congregation. She must have had to. After all, this church is located in the city known to have “The perfect climate,” which refers mostly to Lemon Grove’s social and economic climate rather than the actual weather patterns. She then trims her speech with the customary finale: “In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen.” “Amen,” the congregation answers back passionately. Pastor John then begins his long tedious descent into the world of adult Christian ideology. I let out a strained puff of air and grip the wood beneath my legs with moist palms. First, I had to attend the service specifically designed for High School students, most of whom were the offspring of well-to-do San Diego county conservatives, and now I am forced to sit here and listen respectfully to issues concerning their parents. I could not day dream myself out of this subduing lecture fast enough.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 9/6/2002; 4:03 PM Here's my latest, semi-complete, creation. What do yawl think?
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Richard Davidson on 9/7/2002; 7:47 PM How lovely. How delightful! How DARLING! Yikes, what a scary, dark, chilling piece you have served up tonight. I'm just so very very glad not to be there. I think you should retitle it "kill me please, oh Lord." Best line: "Patiently I wait for the simulated rejoicing to be over." Line you should consider adding: "Satan peeked out above his brow on every third verb, dripping tiny little rivulets of lava that blended with his greasy sweat." Or maybe not...
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 9/10/2002; 7:28 PM Thanks, Richard, I'll consider adding that little tid-bit in.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Chris Link on 9/10/2002; 10:49 PM Oh the horror! Well, I suppose hell is different for each of us. I am sure for me it would be endlessly accounting for everchanging quantities of objects I cannot quite make out while an intercom incessantly informs me of the desires of people I cannot find a reason to care about. Oh, no . . . that's work. Interesting perspective although it makes me wonder how you got relegated to the inferno.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 9/11/2002; 6:47 PM By "relegated" to the inferno, do you mean know why someone like me was in a place like that? If so, this event actually took place before I renounced the Christian faith. Thinking back on the sermons and how much I despised them, I often wonder what took me so long.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Chris Link on 9/12/2002; 12:17 PM Perhaps you hadn't yet landed on Chance and gotten your "Get Out Of Hell Free" card. ;-) Seriously though, this makes me somewhat sad, being a Christian myself. But I can understand it. There's nothing I despise more than "playing Church".
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 9/12/2002; 1:40 PM I fully respect any way of life, whether it be Christian, Jewish, Buhdist, or Wiccan. What I have a problem with is religion, not a particular way of life. Orthodox religion has been the downfall of many beautiful cultures and civilizations. It's sad when a beautiful way of life is exploited and turned into a political and socio-economic structure. The really ironic thing is that my best friend is a conservative Christian republican-and I helped to convert her into a Christian when I was one. When I meant her she was an atheist. Now, I am a tree-huggin' Wiccan. We always give eachother spiritual books pertaining to our ways of life on Yule/Christmas and birthdays. Amusing, huh?
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Chris Link on 9/15/2002; 10:40 PM That is rather amusing, actually. I've played the spiritual chair game myself, having been raised as a Christian, becoming an agnostic, then a student of several traditions until I returned back home to Christianity, "seeing it for the first time." I just told a friend the other day that ironically, if I hadn't studied Buddhism, I probably never would have found my way back to Christianity. But I agree with your sensibilities. Religion is like the tourist town that arises around a once pristine and beautiful place.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 9/16/2002; 11:00 AM "Religion is like the tourist town that arises around a once pristine and beautiful place." That is an awesome similie. Mind if I use it as one of my signatures in my e-mail account? I promise to quote you. Perty Please?
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Chris Link on 9/16/2002; 7:01 PM I'm honored.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 9/17/2002; 12:22 AM Great!
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: John Verion on 10/16/2002; 7:03 PM I rejected a Christian upbringing in favor of studied atheism. Later in life I came back to faith, but it took fatherhood to sort out some very serious questions I had about God and why he acts the way he does. Keep in mind that anybody that chose Christianity also chose to relinquish their old beliefs and embrace something new. It is unprofitable to speak as though Christians have some vested interest in keeping other belief systems/cultures alive. The spread of Christianity was intertwined with the use of iron and with progressive discovery. Its "conquest" of other cultures was one of inevitability from a social evolution standpoint. There is no point in acting as though the last 20 centuries of Christians should have had a 21st century approach to multi-culturalism or diversity. Its rather like asking a two year old to ride a bicycle. What is seldom admitted is that neo-paganism is greatly influenced by modern thinking. It sometimes entertains a certain nostalgia when it comes to cultures we know next to nothing about and so we have ideas of the "noble savage" who was better left without Western influences. But since it was converts who made converts, and converts who re-built their cultures so readily, there is no question that had the ideological shoe been on the other foot, they would have done the exact same thing. They would have done to Christianity what was done to their old way of lives because *they* are the common denominator. Christians or pagans, *they* are the same people and would have acted the same way. In fact, there is seldom discussion about why the religions that were conquered by Christianity became dominant (and ripe for conquering) in the first place. One can rest easy knowing that it was by the point of a spear and a process no less grisly than is often ascribed by the worst periods of Christian history. Good or bad, there exists a marketplace for ideas that is no less competitive and no less brutal than the unfettered economic marketplace. A company that does not produce and does not anticipate the needs of its customer will be stricken from the record with nary a backward glance.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: John Verion on 10/16/2002; 7:04 PM In all of that I forgot to say that your writing was richly descriptive.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 10/17/2002; 11:15 AM "What is seldom admitted is that neo-paganism is greatly influenced by modern thinking." John, I am certainly willing to admit that modern thinking influences paganism, as any other religion must do to maintain influence over and identity with followers. "They would have done to Christianity what was done to their old way of lives because *they* are the common denominator." However, I must disagree with this statement. The passive and more progressive nature of pagan cultural, social, and political history would have never allowed for the idea of "conquering" as a possible solution or scenario. Just as different cultures do not have words to describe certain concepts or ideas because they do not culturally or socially identify with the ideas or concepts. Your view is a very American and ethnocentric view that imposes one of our cultural beliefs on another culture. The beginning of paganism runs further back in time before the birth of Christianity. Many scholars believe the pagan civilization was one of the very first complex civilizations to arise. These people were "religious" first and built their "political" systems around religion. They had no concept of war, which was why it was so easy for Vedic Aryans slowing invading from the North to finally subdue these people around 1200 b.c.e. (before current era). Although the religion of these people of the city of Sindi share a common and strong root with Pagan religion of today, their religion probably would not reflect half of the beliefs and structure Pagans have now. Religions have always and still do reflect the current time period. A good book to research Pagan as well as Christian history is "The Evolution of a World Religion: Origins of Modern Witchcraft," by Ann Moura. It is very scholarly, very scholarly...and I am very tired, very tired...so I will refrain from the rebuttal at a later date...
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Matthew Patterson on 10/17/2002; 10:07 PM Something you might want to change: The description of the church as "orthodox." It's the nitpicker in me, I know, but the church as you've described it is definitely not Greek or Russian or Ukrainian Orthodox in any way, shape, or form. "Fundamentalist" is probably a better description of what you want, although I admit that it doesn't really sound as strong.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 10/18/2002; 12:45 AM 1. or·tho·dox ('or-th&-"däks), adj. conforming to established doctrine especially in religion. This is the definition for the "lower case" version of the word orthodox. When capitalizing: 2. of, relating to, or constituting any of various conservative religious or political groups as a : EASTERN ORTHODOX b : of or relating to Orthodox Judaism. Consequently, your assessment is not entirely incorrect, but no cookie.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Matthew Patterson on 10/20/2002; 12:38 PM Your word choice is your business, but I still think that "fundamentalist" conveys the same meaning without the ambiguity. It's also more commonly used. (Edited to add: Plus, most churches of this nature *aren't* following a set doctrine or liturgy. They literally make up their beliefs and forms of worship as they go along.)
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 10/21/2002; 2:27 AM "It's also more commonly used." Says who? Even if it was more common, that would be all the more reason for me not to use it. Furthermore, I rather enjoy ambiguity: It makes life more exciting. Honestly, I really have no reason for using one word over the other. I just wanted to give you a hard time... I use the two words interchangably very often as does the group of writers and other artists that have helped to mold me. Weslyn Christians do conform to an "established doctrine," called the New King James Bible. It may not be a very ancient text, but I am sure it's established to these folks.
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Seth Dillingham on 10/21/2002; 7:14 AM On 10/21/02, Rachelle King said: >Weslyn Christians do conform to an "established doctrine," called the >New King James Bible. It may not be a very ancient text, but I am >sure it's established to these folks. The Bible isn't the doctrine, it's the source of the doctrine. The doctrine is supposed to be a non-ambiguous statement of faith, the official principles and beliefs held by a religion. Nearly all Christian religions claim to be based on the Bible, but there are hugely varying doctrines among them. Seth
RE: Lemon Grove Inferno By: Rachelle King on 10/23/2002; 10:46 AM okay, okay, geesh... I am attempting to convey to you all that these people (i.e. Weslyn Christians) I went to church with do believe that there religion is based on "doctrine" or "ancient" or "old" or "established" or "rotting tree bark" documents. They believe they are the "chosen ones" and that every other church, sanctuary, tabernacle, temple, etc., in the entire world will not be joining them at their precious pearly gates. Honestly, I understand that you are all CORRECT and that my assessments are, for the most part, INCORRECT pertaining to the use of "orthodox" in my story, so I will make you all HAPPY and fix the root of the problem... =) / =(
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