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Niggly Bop and The Quest for Toilet Paper part two By: Evan on 10/21/2001; 4:46 PM Authors Note: If you have not read Niggly Bop and the Quest for Toilet Paper Part One, part two will not make any sense to you. Of course even if you did it should not be making any sense to you, or at least I hope not. I certainly don't make any attempts at sensicalness (acck my speller checker tells me that sensicalness is not a word, oh but nonsensicalness is a word, the English language does not make any sense) From now on this writing will be in French. Niggly Bop et Fred se sont reveillés et avaient leur petit-dejeuner. Apres le petit dejeuner, ils sont partis pour aller chez Larry, l'homme qui peut aider Niggly Bop á trouver le..... Okay back to English as offhand I cannot remember the french word for toilet paper Niggly Bop and Fred got up and had breakfast. Their breakfast consisted of a large omelette with lots of cheese for each of them. Niggly Bop asked what animal the milk for the cheese came from and was disgusted to learn that it came from a cow, but the cheese tasted just as good as his cat cheese had so he didn't complain. Fred had resumed his pose of the idiot and started a minor food fight with Niggly Bop. The fight ended quickly as Niggly Bop caught all of the food with his tentacles and ate all that was flung at him. After breakfast, they left to go to the home of Larry, the guy who can aid them in finding the toilet paper. After they had departed Fred's town, Niggly Bop and Fred had a relatively uneventful walk to Larry's cave. Once they arrived outside the cave Fred stopped acting like an idiot. "Everyone thinks old Larry is crazy so no one will believe him if he tells people that I'm not an idiot. Everyone would think it was just another one of his delusions." They then entered the cave. Inside was a chair and a table. In the chair was an old bedraggled man with a long beard and very long unkempt hair. The hair appeared to be completely tangled except for in a few places where it seemed to be very neatly combed. Upon closer inspection Niggly Bop realized that the reason some parts of the air were neater was because of the myriad of animals who had made nests there. The man suddenly looked up and noticed their presence. He saw Niggly Bop and began to scream. He kept screaming for a while until he passed out. He woke up about an hour later, saw Niggly Bop and screamed again for a while until he finally calmed down. "I am sorry about the screaming, Niggly Bop but my memories of you are quite frightening to me." "You know me? How?" "You milked me." "I've never met you before, and I've never milked a human before and from what I understand you are a male mammal and can't be milked." "I was a cat that you milked. I experience out of body experiences, but whenever I get out of my body, I get sucked into something else's body, usually some form of domesticated mammal but sometimes I end up in birds as well and once I was tapeworm, that was weird." "Well, okay if you say so. Do you know anything about toilet paper?" "I tell you what, I'll tell you if you promise never ever to milk a cat again." "What if I'm suffering from malnutrition and I happen to find a wild cat?" "Oh all right, if your life would be otherwise endangered by it you may milk cats." "Okay then I promise not to milk cats unless my life was endangered by my promise not to do so." "Okay, that's good so hopefully the next time I'm in a cat I won't be milked. The toilet paper you seek lies across the mountains in the city of Streadimdhup." "What animal were you in to find that out, a dung beetle?" "No I was a mouse who lived in the house of the city's high priestess." Fred all this time had been taking down lots of notes and even when he wasn't making notes he was doodling so that Larry and Niggly Bop would think that he was actually interested in all of this discussion. He also played a few rounds of tic tac toe which always ended in a tie, as he was just as good at the game as he was. When he heard where the toilet paper was located, he kind of gagged a little in shock. "Where exactly is this city?" Asked Niggly Bop. "It is..............................." Larry said as his eyes went vacant. "Hello, are you there?" "Its no good Niggly Bop, he's gone into some animal somewhere. I know where the city lies at any rate, although I've never been there. Its about a day's worth of walking from here through a pass across the Big Jagged Pointy Rock Mountains." "Well let's get going, I set off on this trip to see stuff, and I've never seen a mountain before." "I thought you were trying to find toilet paper?" "Well that too but I only want to do it so I can garner some new experiences and get away from the tedium of cat-milking." "Okey dokey." Fred said and wrote some more notes in his little notepad. To be continued in Niggly Bop and the Quest for Toilet Paper Part 3: The Domain of the Poon
French toilet paper By: Katy Kat on 7/4/2001; 2:28 AM Papier de toilette, that might not be spelled correctly?
RE: French toilet paper By: Evan on 7/4/2001; 10:44 PM That makes sense but it would probably be papier de la toilete, the french must always have their article. I decided not to look it up as I didn't actually intend to continue writing the thing in French as some people might not be able to read it so well, and my French vocabulary is only about 1/4 as large as my English vocabulary or maybe less.
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