Welcome to Percotran -Part XXVIII

By Richard Davidson

“I especially liked the character Wind in His Hair,” Alexander said, excitedly. “I’ve always dreamt of riding across the open prairie, living the life of a warrior.”

He couldn’t believe he’d been talking about “Dances With Wolves” for over two hours, and yet his date, Cathy Turnquist, hadn’t gotten bored. In fact, she seemed just as excited as him.

“You can be my warrior,” she said with the most flirtatious smile Alexander had ever seen. He almost choked on the Sweet and Sour Chicken that had arrived only moments earlier. He didn’t know what to say. He and Cathy had been friends for years, but he’d never really thought of her “that way.”

But why not? Could it be because she actually liked and respected him? That she enjoyed many of the same films and bands he liked? Why did he always get involved with cold, murderous beauties that could do nothing for him but pound iron stakes through his heart, and throw horseshoes at it?

He tried to deflect the comment, and couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in her eyes. He wanted so badly to apologize, but found himself talking about some of the symbolic ramifications of the film instead.

Quite suddenly, she turned into Kasheeba, the Pirate woman, and began shaking him violently.

“Wake up, wake up!” she was shouting, and Alexander felt his dream world dissolve away into nothing, which was a shame, because he’d been enjoying himself, which he so rarely did.

“Where am I?” he asked groggily, through sun drenched lips.

“We’re aboard the S.S. LuluBelle, a Bahinian freighter,” she answered.

Bahinian? What ever could she be talking about?

Oh yeah, the Bahini! They were the noble people who’d rescued him from the fish net, and somehow taught him a language that sounded like Dolphins on amphetamines.

“I’ve come to rescue you.”

“Rescue me?” Alexander couldn’t understand that one.

“From what?”

“From the Bahini, of course,” she said in frustration.

“What’s going on down here?” asked the Chief Medical Warrior’s daughter, who’d just burst through the door.

In less than 1/2 a second, Kasheeba had her in a headlock, and was just about to snap her neck, when Alexander cried, “No!”

“You don’t want me to kill her?” Kasheeba panted, thinking she probably would anyway.

“No! She saved my life!” Alexander shouted, and then added, “and she’s a very nice lady.”

Kasheeba didn’t have time for nice ladies, or any of this nonsense. She wondered momentarily why everybody in the world was so stupid.

“Let her go!”

With a heavy sigh, Kasheeba released the Chief Medical Warrior’s daughter, and burned a stare through Alexander that very nearly caught the room on fire.

Alexander patiently explained to Kasheeba all that had happened since he’d walked the plank on the S.S. Ludwig Von Beethoven, and that the Bahini were a very resourceful people indeed.

He then surprised her completely by telling the Chief Medical Warrior’s daughter about his adventures on the Pirate ship in fluent Bahinian.

The Chief Medical Warrior burst into the room, and put his arm around his daughter, asking her if she was all right.

“Kasheeba is a powerful warrior,” Alexander told them. “She is cunning and ruthless, and quite brave, I might add.”

“Then perhaps she would be useful in helping us interrogate the prisoner.”

“What prisoner?” Alexander asked, as the three stood looking on.

“The Bogotron SPY!” Kasheeba said, in contempt.

“Take me to him,” Alexander said softly. He needed to meet this man.

Badson was shackled in a bunk, his faced pressed against the wall. He turned to see who had come through the door, squinting at the first light he’d seen in some hours.

“You are the Bogotron Spy?” seethed Kasheeba.

“Nonsense,” he pouted, “I’m an ordinary Pirate, much like yourself.”

“You LIE!” she screamed, lunging towards him. It was all Alexander and the Chief Naval Warrior could do to restrain her from killing him.

“She’s a hot one,” said Badson with a smirk.

“Now I don’t suppose any of you have a cigar...”

“We’re going to scan your brain,” Alexander surprised himself by saying.

“It won’t do you any good,” laughed Badson. “You won’t find anything.”

Alexander felt strongly there was more than one way he could take that, but if Bogotron Boy was talking about whether they’d discover his mission, he was dead wrong.

“Oh we’ll find what we need,” he said with rare confidence.

Badson was taken aback just a bit by Alexander’s attitude.

“What possible device could you have that’s worthy of scanning MY brain?” he asked, dumbfounded.

“Only this.”

And with that, the Shaman walked through the door.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he told Kasheeba, in the ridiculous barking dog language he had learned so recently.

Kasheeba smiled. There was something charming; something uniquely primitive about this man. He didn’t smell any worse than they Pirates she’d been spending her time with, especially the buffoon she’d been trapped in the tiny torpedo sub with for the past few days.

She turned to Badson with a leer.

“And now you will tell us just what you’re doing out here.”

“I’ll do no such thing,” Badson scoffed.

The Shaman merely passed his hand over Badson’s forehead, and without even missing a beat, Badson said, “I was going to capture the strange man you rescued, and gain control of the most powerful corporation the world has ever seen.”

Why did he say that? Badson was a highly trained officer of Bogotron’s Intelligence Division, as well as a Vice President. He was impervious to all known brain scanning technology, and now he was simply volunteering information? It didn’t make sense.

“You dog!” shouted Kasheeba. “That’s the path you chose due to opportunity. Now tell us the reason you were sent in the first place, or I will make beef jerky from your useless hide.”

Such threats didn’t scare Badson in the least. Yet again, he turned to her and said, “well, my company’s original plan was madness. They wanted us to masquerade as Pirates, in order to stage an attack that would’ve surely gotten us all killed, and started another World War.”

“They wanted you to attack Percotran,” said Kasheeba, in amazement.

The Shaman held his hands up, and a stiff wind blew them against the wall of the tiny brig.

“Then that’s just what we’re going to do.”

Talkback: Post Reply | View replies (0)