The War of the Demon Families

By Chie Theresa Fujioka

Matt the MInister brought it to my attention, that the names included in this piece are similar to those of a certain moderator on the board. The author has no comment as to whether this was intentional or not, and leaves it to the reader to eat a chasm in his grey matter as to whether... I did, or I did not, that is the question.

Long ago, in a deep chasm in the bowels of earth, two families of demoniac began to fight over the rights to the souls of those humans who committed suicide. One of the families, the clan of Morgan, were very worthy of the illustrious legacies left them by their ancient predecessors, especially The Lucifer Morgan, father of the clan, the Fate sisters, Thor, German god of thunder, and Morgan le Fay, sister of King Arthur. Their skill in the realms of evil was as narcotic to the common demons struggling through the everyday rigmarole of the art of evil. With unsurpassed eloquence, they could tempt almost any saint, due to their strict following of the teachings of Mephistopheles, another famous predecessor to this culturally rich family. Not to be awarded for congeniality, their notoriety for soul stealing was quite widespread among the demonic community. Souls were stolen with such suave and finesse that their classic moves were often copied by the lower class underworld.

However, the other family, the Imp family, had become shabby in their practices, hardly worthy of the title demon. They were still unable to rid themselves of the embarrassment caused soon after the debut of God’s Son, when he drove them into a herd of pigs that all went cliff jumping. The lack of discipline simply led to more mistakes, causing the infuriation of the Head Council on many occasions. The leaders, corpulent on the blood of the dead were turning soft, and even more damnable in the Society of Demons, cute! Yes, this could only be attributed to goblin blood in their family line somewhere, destroying the accountability of demons among other evil makers. The plump, stout, red bodies with thin, pointed tails and mischievous grins featured in the calendars of strange humans were not exactly the image good evil demons wished to possess. Often impresarios, the members of the family worked for assortments of circus acts and magic shows. They were demonic rogues with little rhetoric for human propaganda, never ceasing to spout phrases about being negative, the environment, Medicare, and poly-ticks in general, fooling only the foolish. This lack of propriety is astounding, and according to the Morgans, demands vengeance. We are gathered and called together in this emergency meeting today because neither side will capitulate or compromise, and if complete war breaks out, the downfall of our society, the AAEC (Association for the Advancement of the Evil Cause), will be inevitable.

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