Burden on the heart

By kaustubh pednekar

BURDEN ON THE HEART.

Shshshsh.. we now enter the campus of Fr.Agnel college in Vashi.Well silence please, as the assembly is being held.It’s 8.30 am, and we find many of them rushing to get inside before they are stopped are marked late!!You see a bunch of student’s close to the mike, they are of the computers branch, the F.E’s actually speaking. Well well well and who do we have saying the prayer, it’s the dashing and handsome youngster-Kshitij thakur!Don’t forget, he’s smart and intelligent too. Kshitij’s been ragged by all the senior’s. The senior girls rag him cause he’s cute and take a chance on him. Whereas the Guys rag him cause the girls rag him for a long long time!Thats strange and bad for MR. Kshitij I must say. But that’s the way it is.Ksitij is least interested in what every girl feels about him. He believes that no girl has actually knows him that good except one.Hmmmm…now for the surprise package in the life of Mr. Kshitij is about to open. It’s the cute damsel Miss Shivani,the F.E from branch IT! Stop thinking bad you readers, nothing actually going on between them as such. It is good friendship I must say. But this was not the case till about a year ago i.e. even when they hadn’t joined this college. It so happens that Kshitij and Shivani are from the same Jr. college!!Guess which??Don’t have to…its Agnels again. Guess two years of Jr. college jail wasn’t enough that they decided to continue back in Agnels.During the Jr. college days, Shivani lead her girls group of biology class, whereas Kshitij was the head of his electronics guys!It was some kind of intra-college war between them. They clashed many times, sometimes just exchanging wild glances and sometimes actually battling it out. But don’t know how at the end of year, it was a sort of understanding that led to the finish of this bad rivalry, giving rise to a good friendship. Since then, they have been quite close friends till now. For all those who think why both of them i.e. Kshitij and Shivani continued in Agnels ,the most good and simple reason was that they both lived in Vashi itself.Shivani stayed at the hostel. Her dad was a businessman in New York. But let me tell you one thing here, as Kshitij believed so much in Shivani,he knew at the same time that he loved her. And most surprisingly, he fell in love with her since he was in the Jr. college itself. When the cool fights between them turned down to affection and love,Kshitij was clueless!!But he never ever opened his mouth in front of Shivani.He did not know if Shivani felt the same for him and so if I speak up something weird ,that might simply break our friendship-this fear always kept our hero on his feet!Kshitij didn’t mind living with this burden on his heart rather than the burden of broken friendship. So he never expressed his feelings to Shivani.He talked to her normally as a friend, but nothing more than that.Beleive it or not he carried it on in this way for three big years!! And the end of the third year, one fine day Shivani comes up to Kshitij and tells him that his best friend Nikhil has just asked her out i.e. proposed to her.Kshitij was surprised and the same time hurt too.Afterall his best friend had done something he couldn’t manage the past three years. Though hurt Kshitij didn’t show a glimpse of it on his face. He kept smiling as ever. This is what he said to her- “It’s great yaar!!Nikhil is a great guy. He has never ever hurt anyone. I think he’s a perfect guy for you. Go ahead man. Say him a yes..”And saying so he turned his back to Shivani. Shivani stared at Kshitij for a moment and then gave him a mild smile. But she didn’t say anything other than-“Thanx”.Then she started walking by silently.Kshitij wanted to stop her and tell her that how much he liked her, but then controlled himself for the same fear that stopped him since then. Tears rolled down the cheeks of Kshitij.He wiped them off before anyone had seen it. Next day he saw Shivani and Nikhil giggling around and laughing at the coffee counter.Kshitij was now damn sure that Shivani had accepted the proposal. But neither did Shivani nor Nikhil talk to Kshitij about it anytime in the future. Even Kshitij didn’t care to ask either of them what had happened. Days passed by,Kshitij was no where in touch with Shivani.Some kind of ego problem. Anyway it was also the last and the most important year. So Kshitij kept himself busy in studies and the project work.Nikhil was in another group. He wanted to ask Nikhil of how Shivani was, but then again feared that his interference would ruin the relationship between Nikhil and Shivani.Kshitij was sure a very thinking person. The only problem was he thought more than he should have!!And so he never spoke to Nikhil even. Projects got over. All the graduate students called out a party on Saturday night at a club in Colaba.Kshitij was there too! But only physically, mentally he was lost somewhere else. No need to tell, he was waiting for Shivani.It was a party for IT and COMPUTER graduates together. But Shivani didn’t turn up. So didn’t Nikhil.That was enough for Kshitij to guess. “Those two must have their own different plans.”-thought Kshitij to himself. He stayed there around till the party was over, drunk for the first time, enjoyed and freaked out with remaining of his friends, not letting them now how hurt he was.Kshitij was too good at hiding his true emotions!! The night ended. Party was over.Kshitij left to home. Next morning onwards he kept himself busy in his Dad’s office, to keep himself away from thinking about Shivani.Years passed by,Kshitij was now working in his Dad’s office at New York. His Dad looked after the business in Mumbai,wheras the responsibility of the New York office was on Kshitij only. By then Kshitij was pretty well-settled in New York. The business looked to be working good with profits always rising.Kshitij was doing a great job.Kshitij Thakur by then was a name in demand and a trade mark. Everyone dealt with anyone who was in good terms with the Thakurs.But surprise ,our young hero has not yet married!!He tried his best to forget Shivani,but she was always there somewhere in his heart. Once there was a party in the GRANDE resort, which was on the occasion of the birthday of Mr. Shroff’s daughter.Mr. Shroff was yet another business tycoon in the frame. It was a night that no one could forget. Great music, dances and a huge cake to be cut!Afterall she was a very pampered child of Mr. Shroff.He gave her anything and everything she wished. Her name was Shruti.Shruti was cute-looking, and at the same time good at heart. She did things that helped others first. Her first priority was others happiness and then her own. That made her all the more good. When Kshitij was introduced to Shruti for the first time, he stood like a statue for a moment. That is because he found Shruti’s face resembling much of his first unspoken love i.e. Shivani.He didn’t react for few minutes until Shruti made an attempt to start the conversation. But once the conversation started, they looked pretty comfortable with each other. No one would ever make out that they had been meeting for the first time!!Party was over. Everyone left. But that night Kshitij for the first time was not thinking about Shivani,but it was Shruti!Since then Kshitij got in touch with Shruti more than often for some or the other reason, until he realized that he was in love again. This time Kshitij didn’t waste any time as he had in the case of Shivani-thought Kshitij.So he proposed to Shruti ,and the proposal was accepted. Soon their families met and their marriage was arranged. Three years passed by since marriage. One fine morning a letter was given by Mr. Nagpal,the PA of Mr. Shroff to Kshitij for Mrs. Shruti ,which was posted to Mr. Shroff’s residential address, who was out of town for two weeks. The letter was from London. Kshitij opened the letter to read it and was taken by a huge surprise. The letter was regarding the death of Shruti’s elder sister in a car-accident.Shruti was called immediately there to the address given in the letter. It was because before her elder sister died she had made a will which said all her property would after her death be given to her younger sister. But no where in the letter was the name of the sister mentioned. So Kshitij was now confused that from where had this elder sister come??And why didn’t anyone of the Shroff family tell him about her i.e. the elder sister.Shruti was not at home. She had gone shopping. The moment she returned home,Kshitij handed over the letter to her and turned back without saying anything.Shruti read the letter and at the end of it couldn’t control her tears. Now she knew that there was something to confess to her husband. So she didn’t even wait for Kshitij to ask and started telling some things of her life which Kshitij needed to know. She started-“yes..I had an elder sister..Shiv…Shivani was her name..she was very dear to me and like my best friend…I always looked upon her as my inspiration….she was more close to Dad ,even more than me…..but one unfortunate incident changed all our lives…she fell in love with some guy while studying in some city for engineering…..I don’t quite remember the city…it it was I guess Vashi..”.Hearing this Kshitij was a little shocked. But Shruti continued- “Ever since she met that guy, she couldn’t concentrate on her studies….as a result she got a drop in the Final year….Dad then called her back to new York….Here when my sister told him the reason for her failures he was too furious at her….he immediately decided to get her married to some of our far relative Mr. Sharma’s son Rohit…..” “Rohit was smart and handsome too, but Shivani didi was keen on not marrying in the future……as a result of which Dad threw her out of the house and announced that no one must ever keep in touch with her else he/she would suffer the same….” Shruti was still crying.Kshitij was already shocked on hearing all this but he tried consoling Shruti at the same time. He was confused -“Is it the same Shivani I once liked who did all this…but then Nikhil..”,many such doubts kept pestering Kshitij all this while. So the very next moment, with lots of unanswered questions in mind Kshitij asked Shruti to pack their luggage as they were leaving to London the very next morning. On reaching the given address in London,Kshitij rang the bell at the door with the hopes of getting his queries solved. The door was opened and Kshitij left the bag in his hand with yet another shock of his life!!It was Nikhil who was at the door,Kshitij’s one-time best pal. By now Kshitij was confirmed that it is the same Shivani he once loved so much who had passed away.Nikhil was at the same time equally confused to see Kshitij as the husband of his first love’s sister! Yes you all know that Nikhil’s first love was also Shivani,whom he had proposed too. But to everyone’s surprise Shivani had rejected the proposal.Kshitij was shocked too on knowing this that very night when the two friends were awake and talking. This was when Shruti was sleeping.Nikhil narrated- “I know you must be having many questions in your mind at present. But one at a time. Yes first and formost,Shivani and I are and were still the best of friends till her last breathe, and nothing more as you ever interpreted. The day she told me that she liked you, I wanted to let you know that, but Shivani gave me her promise to not tell you anything. You know that day when she told you about my proposal ,she expected you to tell her to refuse it and propose her. But you told her to continue a relation with me…that’s where you told her you don’t like her friend. She was badly hurt…I could see the pain in her eyes..but she didn’t say a word to you.”Kshitij now remembered that day and thought to himself –“Why couldn’t I read her eyes…why…” Tears rolled down his eyes as he thought. Nikhil continued-“That night of our graduation party, I told Shivani,no matter you have not cleared, but at least let that person know that why you didn’t clear…why you can’t make up to the party…??But she refused to do anything of this. She didn’t want you to love her cause she loved you, but only if you actually loved her..and that’s where she lost. You never told her what you always wanted to and what she always wanted to listen. And you know what Mr. Kshitij thakur , I couldn’t make up to the party as I didn’t find it safe leaving her in that state of mind. And I knew I couldn’t enjoy too. That same night when Shivani went to sleep, I tried calling you up to tell you everything as I couldn’t see the pain she was going through…but you didn’t attend any of the call.”Kshitij sat back and recollected how he had seen Nikhil calling but had not attended the call ,thinking weird about him and Shivani because of being drunk. He thought that Nikhil must be enjoying there and trying to make him feel jealous. He was now feeling so bad about everything that had then happened. “A week later ”, Nikhil said , “I came to your place to talk to you about Shivani and her leaving to New York…but by then you had already left to New York. I had no number to contact you and so never ever could get in touch with you. I then left with Shivani to leave her home i.e. in New York…but there again she faced many problems at home….and..”.Kshitij got up from his seat and shouted-“Stop please stop..I know what happened next…I know what Shivani went through only for me…I know what a fool I had been thinking something weird about you and Shivani…Kashhhh if I had ever told Shivani how much I actually loved her…then today we both would be most happy couple on earth.” He couldn’t control his tears as he said this.Kshitij didn’t know how to tell this all to Shruti.But this time he would not let another burden be on his heart and terrorize him for the rest of his life. So the next morning the first thing he did was to tell Shruti that it was he for whom her sister had taken the decision to never ever marry again. She was silent as she knew it. Actually the last night when the two friends were talking,Shruti was not sleeping, but hearing to what they were discussing. So she knew everything about her husband and his past. But was still proud that at least now her husband had the courage to not let anything trouble him at the back of his mind and confess the truth. She was happy he learned from his past mistakes. She firmly believed-“What we like the most is the most tough to obtain.”. And her husband learned-‘No matter how least important thing it is in our minds, we must not allow it become a burden on our heart’. And two days later Kshitij and Shruti left back to New York. Today Kshitij and Shruti are a very happy pair with two of their kiddies-Shivani and Nikhil,yes to always make them remember some mistakes in the past and not repeat them. And what about Nikhil?Any guesses….hmmmmmm.Yes,he’s a professor at the Agnels college of Vashi.And with him around I am sure there will be no other Shivani and Kshitij out there!!Bless you all..bye.

... kaustubh...

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