What I've learned so far in college.

By Evan

I just started LSU on Monday and I've already learned quite a bit.

1. Get there two hours early because parking is very bad.

2. Chick-a-fila food is good when eaten but not when I throw it up two minutes later.

3. One of my teachers had a washing machine that was possessed by a demon (or so he said in his lecture to the class).

4. Stracchus (not at all certain on spelling) is the Roman God of manure.

5. If you name your car it is less likely to breakdown according to the teacher who had the possessed washing machine.

6. The LSU campus has something against road signs. Very rarely is it easy to figure out where you are without a map, or like I was yesterday, with a map that has dissolved to mush due to the rain and due to that fact I spent and hour and fifteen minutes finding my car.

7. People in dorms are not allowed to ignite or blow up anything for some reason.

8. The bigger the class, the smaller the desks are. It gets to the point where there is virtually no writing surface.

9. You can vomit into a chick-a-fila chicken nuggets box so that nobody in the crowded eating area will notice.

10. Campus toilet paper leaves a burning sensation long after using it. I think I'm going to have to avoid bowel movements there at all costs.

11. Don't put barbecue sauce packets in your booksack.

12. Don't use your booksack as a chair if you have barbecue sauce in it.

Its quite all right to publish this.

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