Ive sat up many nights pondering this question, and it still puzzles me. To say no would be ludicrous, but to say yes would be worse. To lose all that I had over something so strong was preposterous
right? Was it worth it to risk destroying my comfort zone to save my happiness? Was it worth it to leave everyone who couldnt accept what was happening after they had forsaken me?
I had tried to escape many times, avoiding a war, but when all hope of avoidance was crushed, there was no alternative. Brandishing all the necessary weapons, I prepared to fight.
Stepping out of that box was exhilarating. I had broken the norms and had lost many friends through the ordeal, but now I was faced with a new challenge, without my accusers. Survival was the name of the game, and indeed, it was a game. Sanity and happiness began to gang up on me and threatened to leave. Confusion and envy sided with me, although unwanted allies. I had become tormented by my own mind in a no-win situation. I fought to keep sanity and happiness, while trying to rid myself of confusion and envy. It was quite a hellish battle. I still dont know who won. Just depends on the day, I suppose.
But was it worth it? Was all the pain I endured worth it? Is my new life worth it? Well my friends, I suppose I cant really answer that question, because many of the main players are still involved somehow. Although some may leave and others will stay but forget that I exist, were still connected. Only when the bonds are broken permanently will I be happy. Only when I am happy again will I be whole. And only when I am whole will I know the answer to my own question.
The only thing that I can tell you is that it was not a waste.
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