Thought 22 (Depression)

By Dawn Good

Thought 22 (Depression)

Unhappy, irritable, tired, mad, sad, uncaring, lack of laughter, hatred of self, unmotivated. et cetera these are all things that come with depression i know this because that’s exactly how I feel right now. I don’t know why but I started thinking about the past yesterday and it has just put me in a funk. I have also been diagnosed as being bipolar and i guess i’m just hitting a downslide. I don’t want to work in school, I can’t sleep, I’m afraid I’m gonna cry all the time, next class I’m in the library and I have to work with little kids, I don’t think I can handle it.

Dawn.

Don't be suprised if this one gets added to.

And it does… depression is an exact opposite of quicksand, they less you flail around in an effort to get out the faster and further you sink. I am now described as an outgoing happy person, because I flailed my little arms and legs and kicked and screamed my way out of a potentially life threatening situation. The aforementioned situation was really nothing more than a late-felt minor set back. But I’m sure you guessed that by my references to it being caused by the past and the fact that I’ve recognized what my mental disorder is. Depression is a far worse illness than most people give it credit for, the statistics for suicides are alarming, have been for countless generations. But what is more worrisome is the amount of people that find other means of escape as opposed to suicide. Things like self-injury (SI) and self-mutilation are so widespread I would be willing to bet that we all know at least one person who does it. Hell, I do it! (Well, not as much) And the real problem with it is that no one ever says anything and it is kept a secret and in the event that someone does find out the “victim & or / assailant” is met with disgust, fear, wonder, confusion, and rarely is any attempt made to understand the what, why, and where of SI’ing. This is just one of the ways in which depression is directed/misdirected/coped with/avoided. People just don’t talk about anything enough, or make any conscience effort to communicate ideas and situations clearly, even when they are affecting their own lives!

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