The Secrets to Leading a Happy Life

By Evan

It seems to me that people stress out a bit too much about what goes on in life. I've found that in general I tend to be a lot happier than other people and I think I've figured out why and I'm going to share it.

1. Ignore the majority of society's rules and only obey those that make sense personally to you as long as you do not harm anyone. A lot of society's rules are ridiculous. For example, why am I not allowed to stick pencils up my nose? I don't stick the pointy in first or shove them forcibly so there is no danger of doing any damage to my internal piping.

2. Take pleasure in the simple things in life, like the squishy sound of feet through the mud, or facial contortions in the mirror. If people say what you are doing is stupid, pity them as they have matured (Why do people think that is a good thing?) to the point where they are beyond such pleasures.

3. Attempt to make others happy, you'll cheer yourself up in the process.

4. Grow intellectually but always remain a child, because as long as you do, the world will remain a wonderous place.

5. Optional- Fry your memory with an electric shock so you can't remember the bad things. This part is helpful but not really neccessary as it could possibly damage your nervous system, even though it was a lot of fun when I stuck my fingers in those electric sockets.

6. NEVER, EVER, EVER, drink milk that's past the expiration date and has lumps floating in it!!!!!! Trust me!!!!!!!!

Well that's all the philosophy I care to wax at the moment, although I may think of more to add to this later.

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