Siblings

By NS

Francine Klagsbrun concludes, in her essay “Sibling Imprints,” that “the effects of our early experiences with brothers and sisters remain with us long after childhood has ended” (Klagsbrun 132). I couldn’t agree more, and I’ve only recently come to realize that a lot of who I am comes from the impact of my older brother, who is, quite simply, a maniac.

Don’t believe that? Well, we’ll come to that later. First, you need to know about me…

I have a very distinct set of things that I don’t like. One of them is violation of personal space. I absolutely despise people standing very close to me. Another member of this list is arrogant people—those people who just assume things and make decisions influencing any given person without even asking that person first. The third (and final) element is that I don’t like people who are overbearing and arrogant—those that have gone beyond the stage of arrogance to the point where they think they don’t need to ask the person, because, to these people, that person’s thoughts are quite irrelevant.

I also have a similar list of things that I like—but I’ll only share one or two of those today. The most prevalent is creating “big things.” For instance, I like drawing large buildings with cavernous insides, or gigantic statues that exude power but also emanate safety. I also happen to like intelligence, and to append that previous list; I hate the use of brute force. Yes, I much rather prefer one to out wit his or her opponent than to merely clobber them.

All these things mentioned, I attribute to my brother—I’m now fairly confident that he has instilled these tastes upon me. My sibling is large, muscular, and perhaps best described as a brute—he doesn’t regard any person’s property as his or her own—if he wants to use it, the so be it! He has spoken. Although, I should not misrepresent him here, for I honestly believe that he has the capacity to think—unfortunately it seems he does not utilize it often.

Recently, this brother has moved back into the house of my mother—the one at which I stay. This is after an absence of approximately 6 or 7 years. On April 18, 2001 there was a memorable incident that succinctly depicts my impression of him throughout the years I’ve interacted with him. On this day, he declared that he was going to use my sister’s television—my sister not being present at the time. I objected. This did not sit well with him, and he dismissed my dissent with the ever so tactful “shut up.”

I, however, persisted—as I said, I don’t like overbearing and arrogant people. Well, one thing led to another and eventually he ends up shouting in my face. Right in front of my face—approximately two inches away. I really despise that type of proximity. So he’s standing there, spitting on me as he yells. I, however, cannot stand this, so I push his mouth close.

Reflecting back, I think I may have done this too hard, for his glasses came off—not flying off with rapid speeds, but there was sufficient momentum to knock the glasses off his face. However, this did not warrant his response, which was to nearly strangle me to death. And I do literally mean to death. He was cutting off my air supply—I couldn’t breathe and he didn’t care. It was not until my mother came over and pounded him as hard as she could upon the arm, that he finally let go.

This event depicts how he has impacted (and currently still does impact) my life. I see that I don’t like the proximity because this is and has been his typical reaction—and the rest of dislikes follow in suit. Yet I still need to expound upon how he’s influenced my list of “likes.” I’ve concluded that I like creating big things because they make even the largest people feel small—even my large brother would have to feel small around them. Also, as noted, they exude safety, even from the largest attackers. I’ve also realized that I like intelligence over caveman strength because it is the antithesis of my brother, who seems to think the only solution is that if “it” doesn’t function the way you wish “it” to function, you hit and kick and beat “it” until “it” does.

So, Francine Klagsbrun, I agree with you—siblings do indeed influence your life for eternity.

Work Cited:

Klagsbrun, Francine. “Sibling Imprints.” Interactions: A Thematic Reader. Ann Moseley et al. 4th ed. Boston: Houghton, 2000.

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