Respect For The Dead

By Brian Webber

In late April (or was it early May) of 1999, I went to the memorial service for the Columbine victims. As I walked to the site of the service, which was attended by then VP Al Gore, Colorado Gov. Bill Owens, and singer Amy Grant, I saw a sight that would shock even the most desensitized amongst us.

"GOD HATES FAGS" "MATT SHEPARD IS BURNING IN HELL!" "FAG = SIN" "THANK GOD FOR AIDS" ad nauseum.

Those homophobic right wing christian nuts were picketing a memorial service for 12 slain children and a slain teacher! After the desire to beat those jerks to death with their own signs passed, I had a mental image of Jesus turning over in his grave so fast it would reverse Earth's rotation like in the Superman movie.

I want you to roll that image around in your head some before you continue reading, becuase I think it will help you understand my idea. The "Respect For The Dead" Law: Basically, no protestors or picketers are to be allowed within 500 yards of a funeral or a wake.

I saw a segment on one of the TV Nation videotapes (the segment was never aired on NBC or Fox) about a child who wnated his shcool to give him extra credit for picketing Gay funerals, or funerals of anyone who was rumoured to be gay (seeing as it was small town kansas they probably WERE just rumours). Him and his whole family carrying signs like the ones I mentioned above. I was shouting at the TV while I was watching this segment. "It's a funeral you monsters!" and stuff like that.

I know you ACLU-type people may oppose this. Hell, I am IN the ACLU. Which is why my idea is credible. As far as I can tell, there is nothing unconstitutional about my idea. Funeral services and wakes should be a private matter, for family, friends, and admirers of the deceased.

Do you see where I'm coming from? I think that a public ordinance along these lines is perfectly reasonable. True, there is nothing in the Bill of Rights guaranteeing the right to bury the dead in peace, but I think I've got a good idea here.

Have respect for the dead. Is that too much to ask?

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