Hello all! I'm Portia, yes I am and I'm new here. So hello again! Wait, I have to go splash some water on my face, I'm impeccably tired...and sleepy. 2 hours on the plane is not my idea of a dream vacation but you're probably thinking. 2 HOURS??? Not long at all. Well yeah, but I am NOT a plane person. I get very sick and be glad I haven't reached the brink of throwing up. But yes, I teeter to and fro between the small line that seperates sane with sane but throwing up. In my case, sane becomes INsane. I have victims and witnesses to testify the claim as well! Introducing my family. Mother, thinks I talk to myself. I do not! I am merely talking to Pontifer. Who's Pontifer you say? He's my pet pig that people claim to be my imaginary..pig, but he's real! Honest! It's just because some eyes are yet to discover the art of imagining. Father, thinks I read too much. Correction, reading is good, ain't it? That's why I'm super smart! When it comes to real lessons however, I tend to catch this disease that stops me from remembering anything. I don't know why, and it's contageous so those who value your brains, kick up your immune systems! Okay, now, brothers. Older brother, no comment. Other older brother, no comment. Me, ahem, well, Portia is the greatest girl alive. She's perfect in every way if you just ignore the fact that she's a retard escaped from the looney center, a bit delusional, has a pet pig named Pontifer that nobody is able to see, might bite people oce in a while because she believes she's a vampire and is uber-stupid. But really, I think she's hot! Why thank you, Portia 2. No problem Portia 1. And as i speak to my reflection, there is a camera in different angles shooting us, I mean me, and I feel like Gollum now. Gollum, you ask? Yes, Gollum. He is my sister. I know, shocking isn't it? He's bisexual, see, and pretends to be male just so he/she can wear that skimpy little loin-cloth that I made when I was 5 and was messing around with a sewing kit. But enough about my bisexual sister. But it might be interesting to know that she went and did surgery before this so imagine her real face if she's still having a bit of a problem on the beauty regime. Poor girl...And oh, look! It's Pontifer here again. Hello Pontifer ol pal! Now go away before I make pork chop, I'm feeling hungry you know. Now why don't we just talk about my still commentless older brothers? Yes, the oldest acts like a 5 year old and still wants to be a lawyer/ Superman? The other says he wants to be a brain surgeon so he can see what people are thinking. You know, that's actually quite a good idea, come to think of it. We should all be neurosurgeons! Then if somebody hates, do surgery and you'll find out! In fact, if you'd like to take money out of somebody's bank account, surgery will do the trick too! Wow, I want to be a neurosurgeon now! Just kidding, I will alwyas be an author, whether or not it kills me. Well, let's not go so drastic, shall we? Still an author, just have to get rid of Pontifer, he's annoying the heck out of me. That's it, anybody up for bacon?
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