Percotran so far

By Richard Davidson

OK, I know, this isn't really an essay, but I have some things to say, and being that I've continued a story past Part IV, right here on this very site, I feel I have a right.

And if I'm wrong, the hell with you all. (hee hee)

Anyway, the Percotran Saga is up to Part MCMLVII or so by now, and though I'm getting better with Roman Numerals all the time, I still haven't had much help.

Oh sure, I've had the usual feedback: Richard you're a genius; Richard you're an idiot; Richard could you pour me another cup of coffee, etc, but any actual criticism came early, and was grammatical in nature.

So what I'm really looking for is some NEGATIVE FEEDBACK. What doesn't work in this story? What feels contrived? Are there characters that leave you feeling disappointed, due to the shallowness with which they are drawn? Chie pointed out that the numerous ocean scenes were making her feel a bit seasick, and frankly, she should try being on THIS side of it; man where's the Dramamine when you really need it?

Many of you authors are quite young. I, on the other hand, am old as the hills. Does that make you feel intimidated to lash out at me, and call me on my weaknesses? God, I hope not. I consider many of you to have more talent in you pinky than I have in my whole knuckle; and I'd like you to write the rest of the story for me.

Just kidding about that last part, but something about this story is making me a bit uneasy, and I'm not sure what it is. To be honest, I have the closing three chapters sketched out in my mind, but I refuse to even entertain them, other than scribbling some outline notes on little yellow sticky notes, until I have a suitable vehicle to arrive there.

So I figure, while I'm doing all that, some of you young geniuses can give me some knocks. Would you be so kind? I promise, there's nothing you can say that will make me commit suicide, or cancel my subscription to the CD of the month club, or even cancel my satellite, since I BOUGHT the damn dish.

If you have nothing, fine, I guess, but really people, you are some of the best and brightest, and I'm guessing at least one of you has read a book before.

I keep trying to bring people over to critique, but so far I keep getting "interesting story." Interesting? My God, that's a horrible insult!

Ladies, can you imagine if you put on your sexiest swimsuit, and asked your favorite man what he thought, and he said "interesting?"

How about if you proposed a theory to reunite the world's disenfranchised people?

Now I admit, I haven't done anything as important as either of those two things here, but I want to sell this garbage, and quit my job. I have a photography business going, which I'd have more time for if I didn't have to work 8-5 at some dreary corporate hell, and I can't stomach the thought of shopping this dreck to eighty or ninety thousand publishing houses, only to find out that it really IS dreck, and I'm not just pretending to be humble, so no one on this site knows the truth about my enormous ego.

R.A.B, don't you hate just about everything? You'd be a great source of defeatist ravings about the way the story jumps around too much, or something.

Rachell, Chie, I mention you both in my bio, and for Chie I invented the island of Japania, which just MAY be based on a real place in our time. I think it's time you two got a bit nastier, and really told me where I screwed up.

And Mark! My God, isn't this your site, or something? How DO you feel about me polluting it with Part after tedious Part, having no concern whatsoever for the poor readers, who I keep dragging into this mindless prose?

Well, I've given you all a basic framework for what I'm asking, so have some fun, and remember, I'm an evil man, who frequently kicks cute puppies and bunnies, and lobbies to get the Death Penalty expanded to cover speeding tickets.

Thank you, and have a horrible night.

You bastards!

Talkback: Post Reply | View replies (34)