Mystery Top 10 List

By Richard Davidson

Hey everybody, let's play a little game. Can you guess what the category is for this top 10 list? I'll give you a clue: The answer is right above #1. But don't peek. That's wicked lame. Here are the answers:

10. Tell him, “I’ll bet you won’t kill me, you chicken.”

9. Ask, “is that sharp?”

8. Try to sell him insurance.

7. Ask him if that was his mother you saw going into the hotel room, with the three sailors.

6. Recruit him for Amway.

5. Tell him there’s an itchy spot on your back you just can’t reach.

4. Quack like a duck.

3. Offer him the latest issue of “Ladie’s Home Journal.”

2. Laugh, and say, “y’know there’s only 10 chopping days left ‘till Christmas.”

and the Number One Thing Not to do When Confronted by a Crazed Ax Murderer is:

1. Ask him to come out back, and slaughter the chickens.

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