*I am away from the computer right now*: Day 2

By Dorothy Marie

"Good morning, everyone. Did you all enjoy your breakfast? Very good... very good. I'm looking for 48 people... let's see, do we have the Johnsons? No? Are the Johnsons not here? Well, that would explain the two pieces of red luggage missing."

Lyndon Oliver is our tour guide, and will be for the next five days. @Hello, everyone, my name is Lyndon Oliver, and I will be your Tour Director for the next five days. Ahh, I quite like that title, don't you? Yes, yes, I like that. When I go home, I'm nothing again. On the job, i'm the TOUR DIRECTOR. Well, here is our bus driver, Daron." He laughed at his next thought with a hearty chuckle. " There will be lots of long lines to wait in, won't there? But we are with Trafalgar tours, aren't we, and we have our badges, don't we?! We won't have to wait! There is a pen being passed around to write your name on those badges, which are of the highest quality plastic, you know." The group responds with genuine laughter. "Yes, we call these BYRO pens... BYROs... What is it that you call them again? I know it's something different... what's that? Ahh yes, ballpoints. i KNEW it was something different, and it is, isn't it?"

Oh, and the name tags, ARE lovely, they are. Lydon Oliver is a very Brittish man. His eyes are a crystal blue, and droop down on the sides like those of a loveable hungry hound. He has a silver cannine tooth on the top row.

"0-774-010-7343. Please write that number down. That's my phone. It's best to be able to always keep in touch. Let's look at the itenerary, now..."

His skin is lightly tanned, showing that he's a bit of an outside man, always on teh move. His dark gray hair sprited with lighter gray hair sticks in all directions, as though he just woke up and fixing his hair was last on his list, which he was unable to complete before popping out for the day. His teeth are small, white, and straige (which is amazing for this country), and move just enough with his lips to speak "proper english." He is about 45, but has the vivacity of a 19 year old boy who has just experienced his first college frat party. I can tell he has been around this coutnry too many times; yet, it surprises me that he shares the joy and interest of the majority of people on this tour. I don't. This is where my interest lays. I believe I can hold out if I stay silent, and keep writing. I hope for a cyber cafe (WHICH I AM IN RIGHT NOW FINALLY!)

"Well, I am a bit unsure about this part on the itenerary... I'm not sure whether I buy YOU a drink, or YOU buy ME one..." He looks up in genuine puzzlement as the bus screaks with lauhter.

"You buy US a drink!"

"Allright then... I shall buy you a drinK... only one drinK mind you because this is coming out of my own hospitality!" He smiles!

Sign: The Fox and Duck. Good Quality Food. (This is a pub.)

The food here is wonderful! Soy is the cheapest oil in America because it is so easy to farm. Here, and for most of Europe, it is rarely used. I'm having a blast. I can eat CHOCOLATE!

Yes, darling, this is Hampton Court. Here are the royal gardens with the popular Frnech style. These ewe trees have been shaped specially as a part of the geometric goal, as they are perfectly lined about the walk paths. Ahh, yes. Here we have the Royal Tennis Court which is really the oldest tennis court where "real" or "royal" tennis was played, essentially beginning the sport.

Stonehenge. I am in complete awe of this place. According to my mom, who does not share my enthusiasm, "they're just a bunch of rocks. What's so great about 'em?" Well, these "rocks" are all about 20 ft. tall, 3 ft. wide boulders which have either been carefulled searched for, or painstakingly shpaed. They wigh tons each, and today it would be no great feat to plop one atop the other and cement them to stay. Then, it was a much different story. The world has long wondered just how these people, centuries ago, managed to maneuver these stones into their current positions. And, as the sun rises in the east each morning, it shines through the circle. This is the only stone circle that has stones on top of the vertical stone pillars, making it so amazing. And the pattern... there is definitely a pattern present, yet I cannot grasp it, especially since I am being rushed by my mother. Some pillars have two stone pillars, others three, and then there are even single standing ones. All surround a sort of crude platform, upon which sacrifices have been made. A skeleton has ben found buried in the circle, and this person was strangled to death. There is great religious significance here, but I cannot grasp it... Tumulii surround the circle... great mounds that are just pimples on hills contain the remains of once "great figures," now equalized by their death and rest in the hills.

*Old Salem- failed Celtic city on the hillside around 1100 a.d.

*Clearing up the DRIVING mystery: They drive on the left side of the road here because, in the middle ages, most men carried their swords on the left side and fought or drew with the right arm. That way they would be able to fight oncoming danger. We drive on the right side in America, and the rest of continental Europe because Napoleon came with his cannons and cavalry and went on the right side of the road to give himself more room. Basically, MAKE WAY OR EAT CANNONBALL LEAD.

"The rooms will have tea and coffee making facilities... but we have more coffee drinkers than tea drinkers, don't we? Well, coffee is good, because apparantly it gets the digestive juices going in the morning. But tea, tea is good for you, now, isn't it? It contains flavanoids, and flavanoids battle those free floating viruses in you, doesn't it? And as you get older, as you get older, you start to think about these things, don't you? For a few days, you might notice that you've been a bit warmer as of late, and you think... blood pressure. Then, tea is good for you isn't it? Very important, isn't it? And, and it's been proven that tea actually increases fertility! Oh, yes, they ran an experiment. One woman drank about six cups of tea a day, and another woman drank as much as humanly possible, and it made a difference. So, yes, it helps with fertility, doesn't it?"

I would like to know who thought to run this experiment.

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