Hello everyone!I am new to this site(well, I was'nt going to join but I have been reading some poetry and thought it only polite to introduce myself).I must confess right now I'm no writer,but I do enjoy reading other people's work in case some of their talent might rub off on me(so far, the experiment is failing miserably, I can tell you.I still cannot get The Guardian Newspaper to print my letters).My sister says I should start my letters to the said Newspaper by flattering the pants off the editor ,but how can I do that when I am about to call him a twat in the next sentence,I ask you?(Sincere apologies to the editor-my sister is making me write all these dreadful things about you I really like you in that cerise shirt with the Dragon print that you bought from the market in Bangkok,honest!A nd it does'nt even make you look fat it's just the heat,really) Now where was I?oH YES!Now back to all you (in)sane people out there.I am now a fully paid up member of insane bloggers .com and would welcome any Hi!s out there or, failing that, the address of the cheapest shrink out there(does he take post-dated cheques as I am currently not on speaking terms with my bank-they just don't realise it yet).Please be gentle as I suffer from acute Precious Child Syndrome and I have seven BIG -no- make that TEN big brothers out there who, apart from being convicted murderers out on parole, are also total computer whizz-kids and can trace any negative commentators just by analyzing their thought-processes(yes!)Oh, did I forget to mention that they are also like total magicians and can appear in your bedroom in the blink of an eye, give you a good mullahing as they say in East London,and be home with their wives for a bit of how's your mother before you know what hit you.To be totally honest, being a Friday night, my twelve BIB BIG brothers are probaably trying to knock off the off-licence at the end of the road,again!Luckily, they have enough sense to give Fag-Ash-Lil £20 each every Tuesday when they get paid by the Social for signing-on.Iam sick to the back teeth of telling them it would be easier and cheaper to just get their drinks from the supermarket, since my second brother's friend Shaquille's sister's friend's cousin's baby father is still in Belmarsh for tasting the Scrumpy-Jack in the local T esco.The judge did not believe he would have come back on Tuesday to pay for it,it being a Wednesday when he was caught and all.Anyway, I can't believe they put that boy in jail-he always boasted of knowing people who would help him if he got into trouble-how was I to know they needed his life's savings to go on holidays and not hire a lawyer.I have to go now (it's medication time again at the hotel I stay in sometimes)but now you've heard from me (and my fourteen big brothers,)please don't be shy-come up and say hi!Ps;please feel free to print this but don't tell my shrink-the man is looking to keep me in here for good,I CAN TELL. I don't like the glint in his eyes -his eyes are too close together.And there I was hoping to get a weekend pass as I have finally decided what to do to my ex-husband-I have decided to kill him by Being Nice To Him(I do hope he's not had his heart op as yet as I'm relying on some shock tactics here-go on-help me out here).Failing that, I can always ask my thirty big bros to visit and offer to make him a cup of tea(I know, I know ,I had no idea my Dad was so busy,and the brothers just keep coming out of the woodwork-there!found another one,which brings the total number of brothers up to fourty-eight-stop it Dad,Smokey can't give you any more babies -the poor cat is exhausted-five litters a year is enough I think.I really have to go now as my Dad has an appointment at the vet and I promised to take him.The poor man has been waiting four years to be neutered.
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