Faith. Spirit. The Royals. Whatever.

By Quinn Logan

(Author's Note: I wrote this essay back in February of 1999, just after I moved out of my parents home and in with my now-fiance. I had screwed up big time with my life and was on the road to getting back on track. This is the result of my feelings at that particular time in my life. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and one little thing: Atra was a good friend of mine, someone who touched my life and taught me a lot about myself in the process. And I never even got to meet her. ~QL~

FAITH. SPIRIT. THE ROYALS. WHATEVER.

Life goes on.

Those three words make up the title of a TV show that is now off the air. It starred a talented young actress named Kellie Martin, who is now playing an intern on ER.

Life. Goes. On.

Yeah. Uh-huh. It really does. No matter who you are.

What am I talking about here? Well, simply the fact that no matter what happens, humans can get over it and move on. Life goes on. Even when you think it can't or won't, it does. Imagine that.

Think back to late August and early September of 1997.

You remember what happened: Diana died. Tragedy. Heartache. For so many people.

For so many, yes. But mostly for two. Two very important teenagers. Their names are William and Harry. Her sons.

It must have been hard that first week for them. Indeed, for the first few weeks. And months. Being told their beloved mother was dead. Knowing she was never going to come back (at least not as a human, maybe she's haunting Kensington Palace in ghost form, who knows?) even though they thought they could hear her laugh, hear her voice, see her, feel her, just around the corner...just out of their reach.

Having to face the fact that they were just going to have to finish growing up and live their lives without her. That's gotta suck.

But, in a rather short time, it became apparent that their lives were going on. They had school and time with the family (both families, actually) and time with friends and African safari's and the Spice Girls and birthdays and ski trips...

Life goes on. Doesn't it, Your Royal Highnesses?

It certainly does. And having faith helps.

I'm not talking about faith in the sun coming up every morning (it does you know. Even if it's cloudy out, the sun is still up, we just can't see it), or faith in your team winning the Stanley Cup or the World Series or the Super Bowl. I am talking about faith in God and having the knowledge that life will go on. That it's not the end of the world.

Because it isn't the end of the world. It may seem like it, but it isn't. My mother said that to me, not too long ago. And she's right. No matter what happens, no matter how bad it seems, it is possible to get through it. With enough faith and trust in God...

I got the idea for this essay from a discussion my friend Jordanna and I are having over on Atra's message board. Yes, Atra's board is still alive and kicking, there is a group of us who keep it alive mainly by wishing Atra would come back and talking about faith.

Atra's poor page hasn't been updated in a long time. The amazing, smart, talented, and yes, bitchy woman who called herself Atra disappeared back around June of last year. Just up and left without a trace. There are people who think she may be dead, but that's not keeping with the whole faith thing.

There are some of us who think she is alive and well, just unable to get online for whatever reason. I am one of those people. I wish she would come back. We all do.

We can't let ideas that she's dead run our lives. We can't believe it. But we can hope and pray that she's out there, analyzing William and chatting somewhere with Edward. Hey, she said she saw a post he made somewhere. Remember?

Everyone has a spirit. And we have to remember it. If you don't believe me, go watch Oprah. She's got it down. She knows where it's at and how to keep it in our lives.

The whole mothership thing. I still don't understand that.

But I know I have a spirit. And for the past few months, nearly a year, my spirit has been slowly destroyed. Not by an sinister outside force. By me. I did it. But you know what? I have stopped in my path of destruction and am getting myself back on the track to freedom and spiritual happiness.

I'm not there yet. Too many obstacles. But I'm getting there. I have faith that I will succeed. I believe.

I believe Atra is alive. I believe Diana knows everything that is going on concerning her death on this planet and is shaking her head in dispare. I believe souls need nourishment almost as much, if not more, than the physical body does. I believe love is a necessity. I believe hate is also necessary to an extent. I believe laughter is sacred. I believe we can over-come everything from Y2K to Monica Lewinski.

And I believe cartoons hold the key to understanding the universe.

Heehee.

Hey, we have to believe in something, people. Just like we need to love, hate, laugh, cry, scream, hug and go scuba-diving to find inner peace, we need to believe.

So. What now?

How about this: "For God so loved the world, He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him, should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16

I am not a religious person, ladies and gentlemen. Some of you know that already. But Jordanna threw that in a message on Atra's board and I believe it too.

"Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." ~Aldous Huxley

"If you scramble about in search of inner peace, you will lose your inner peace." ~Lao Tzu

"We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth." ~Virginia Satir

Can anyone tell me if that last one applies to the Royals? Okay, I'm kidding, but how many hugs a day do you think they're getting, on average? Just a thought.

Getting back...

Experience. Inner peace. Growth. Faith. Belief. Spirit.

We need to experience happiness and sorrow in order to live a rounded life. In order to grow as people. Inner peace is something we should all try to have. If we are not at peace within, how can we be at peace without? By that I mean if we're not peaceful in our souls, we'll never have peace in the world.

If there is light in the soul, There will be beauty in the person. If there is beauty in the person, There will be harmony in the house. If there is harmony in the house, There will be order in the nation. If there is order in the nation, There will be peace in the world.

Okay. Chinese proverb. They know what they're talking about, eh? Yeah.

I'm nearly done here, folks. Give me a minute.

"Wisdom is not communicable. The wisdom which a wise man tries to communicate always sounds foolish." ~Herman Hesse

And Mr. Hesse was a wise man for saying that. He managed to convey one of the greatest truths in the world in two sentences. Wow.

Truth.

That's almost as important as the rest of it. Truth. Honesty. Yeah, I know about that. I messed it up lately. Big time. And the worst kind of dishonesty isn't when you lie to other people. Nope, it's when you lie to yourself. That's what hurts the most in this world, I think. Yep.

Don't ever lie to anyone, guys. And most importantly, don't lie to yourselves. It ain't worth it. Take it from someone who knows.

Perhaps the Prince of Wales is lying to himself. Maybe that's his problem. Maybe he's convinced himself he can marry Camilla, make her his Queen and become King of England and Defender of the Faith. Maybe that's his problem. Or maybe he doesn't even have one and I'm just scrambling around for something to say.

Does anyone know what time it is?

It's Howdy Doody time!

Heehee. Actually, Duckman is on. It's late. Almost...

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal." ~Henry Ford

Another wise man. Wasn't he the one that started the car company? Not a big Ford fan, even if my dad does have a Taurus. But apparently the man said a smart thing or two in his life. And if we, as human beings, take our eyes off the goals we set for ourselves, we end up seeing all sorts of obstacles. This makes our view of the goal blurry and we forget what it is we're trying to do.

We start to think we can't achieve our goals. Which isn't true, if we work hard enough at it.

Obstacles, smobstacles.

Okay. I'm tired. It is getting late. Actually, it's beyond getting late. It already is late. How time flies when one has unlimited internet access and an idea that won't die. But it's time I was joining my boyfriend in bed. Forget Duckman. I watched it two hours ago anyway. One thirty-seven a.m. That's after midnight to those of you who don't know.

Now do you know why I'm just a wee bit punchy?

Sorry...

This life is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual life You would have received Further instructions on Where to go and what to do!"

"In the end, everything is a gag." ~Charlie Chaplin

Yep. Uh-huh. You can say that again, Mr. C!

Faith. Spirit. Belief. Truth. Experience. Growth. Humor. Whatever.

Good-night!

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