How to Drive One's Sibling Daft

By Evan

Long term exposure to people often causes a good deal of mental anguish for the people in question. Nowhere is this more true than with siblings. A brother and/or sister can often get on one's nerves after a while and sometimes be mean and nasty apparently on purpose. This guide is a list of suggested methods for annoying siblings when apologies for their actions are not forthcoming.

1. Follow them around and stare at them wherever they go.

2. Sing a song to them. Particularly annoying songs when sung over and over are I am Henry the Eighth I am, Ick Von Schpielman, My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean, or The Bob the Foo Song.

3. Continually poke them and jump backwards if they attempt to retaliate.

4. The silent treatment works if they talk to you at all during the course of the day. Whenever they say something to you, stick your fingers in years and start chanting "I'm not Listening! I'm not Listening! I'm not Listening!".

5. Keep saying "Kill the pig cut his/her throat, spill his blood!"

6. Play the kazoo.

7. Create imaginary shadow puppet people and tell the offending sibling that the puppets are crying out for his/her blood.

8. Find some dirty socks and begin rubbing them in the sibling's hair, jumping backwards if any sort of retaliation is attempted.

9. Continually smack the person with latex gloves (especially good if they have previously been used to disect something).

10. If the sibling has any things that they don't want you to mess with, mess with them. Ie. use their hairbrush or toothbrush.

If all of these things have failed to get sibling to apologize for the previous wrongdoing or have caused the sibling to begin running at you with a knife, contact your parent or guardian immediately.

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