Once upon a time in a strange land far, far away, known to many as "Louisiana," there stood a common meeting place among children. At this constantly enlarging area, filled with blank edifices and dying grass, adults would come to teach these children... some with alterior motives more evil than others. The "school" split into two groups of teachers: the sage, who believed in amusement, appeasement, and good teaching; and the anti-logistic, whose doctrine based on torment, ignorance, and general annoyance became the enemy of the student body. The head honcho of the A.L. was also known as the "Dean of Students" (don't let his proper title fool you. He was no Dean.), or "Wily" for short. Wily is, in fact, his real name, and obviously his forefathers preordained this specific irony because he is in very few ways a cunning man. One of his few abilities is that of avoiding direct answers to questions, like George Bush Sr. In any case, this story is not about this concentration of social ignorance; it is meant to zoom in upon one of his minions... THE EVERLASTING ENGLISH TEACHER WHOSE NAME SHALL REMAIN ANNONYMOUS FOR THE SAKE OF THE PROTECTION OF THE WORLD, or for short, simply "THAT LADY." Oh, now some may be realizing the painful truth that this is not a fictional piece. The horror is real, and exaggeration has long since been abandoned. Welcome to my life, and the lives of many writers who have taken refuge on this site. We have all fled from the required writings of past years, and current years, whose pain is still being inflicted upon hundreds of english students. We are not machines, but emotional beings. Good writing cannot be forced from the very center of one's existance! It cannot be given a deadline! If it is, only the harshest form of torture will ensue, and that torturous process has been mastered by "THE LADY." Oh, she is a cunning woman, she is, more deserving of the head honcho's name than even he is. Well, to you I write this! Beware of emotionless poetry, and witless prose! They are the fruits of pain and suffering! Lament for their existance! But, there is a way to end it all... to end the reign of "THE LADY" and all who follow in the doctrine of the A.L. Avoid following their rules unless what you have to give is from a willingness to write, and express yourself. Do not allow them to force your emotions and creativity! Would you knock on an axe-murderer's door if you were ordered to by someone with no true power over you? I would of my own free will, but if a spiteful human being commanded me to march up the frail, weather-worn steps leading to his non-existant front door (more of a rotting door frame, really), I would decline for the fact that they would not have my best interests in mind. Call me defiant. Tell me I have a criminal nature because I eat my oreo-like cookies by twisting them open, licking the cream, and then eating the cookie. That is who I am, and it works! So, spite those spiteful beings! They can always be outsmarted. And, remember, DON'T COME UNLESS YOU MEANT IT, or the axe-murderer might invite you in for dinner, and then where would you be?
Mark- it's okay to publish this as soon as you've caught up on your bundle of work. Oh, and it is an essay, not fiction.
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