Confessions of a Near Future Graduate

By Trigahertz

For 13 years of their life, a child is trapped. He looks through the window of his life and sees the world, yearning to be set free. The freedom that the rest of the world seems to have just isn't fair. He wants to touch the world, not merely look into it. He wants to go places in it, see things in it, and fulfill his dreams in it. During this period of going through school, a child learns how to love and the value of friendship, aside from the basic studies. He learns that things aren't always what they seem to be and that people can't be trusted. That there are let-downs in life sometimes and that life's not fair. That death is real and it happens to people you love. He learns that the world is far from a utopia. Unquestionably, much is learned in these 13 years.

Graduation is a word that can truly bring out contradicting emotions within a person. The sort of eagerness that's infused with trepidation, the type that a lion cub has upon leaving it's den for the first time. They're the kind of emotions that give you butterflies in your stomach. The kind of emotions that make you feel like you can just take to wing and fly off to the clouds. Commencement certainly is a very special, solemn, and joyous occasion. Everything is seen in an entirely different shade of light from that point forward. For that window that keeps you from the world to finally be shattered, to finally get out of that wretched place, where others taunt and tease, is like breathing fresh air. They laugh at you because you are different, possibly more mature than them. You are the outcast. The way things actually are really aren't the way they seem, just like has been learned.

I say "eagerness that's infused with trepidation" because during all that time that you're in school, you really want nothing more than the be done, free, out and never to come back. But at the same time, whether you admit it or not, you're afraid. You're going to be out on your own in the world, the world that you've so longed for. You've been in school for so long that you don't know what you're going to do when it's gone. It's almost like having something so routine and taken for granted that you've known for so long suddenly just disappear. You feel vulnerable, exposed, like everyone is out to get you. But again, there is just so much enthusiasm to just get out into the world and make a difference. You want to go to places you've never been, to see things you've never seen, to fulfill the dreams you never fulfilled.

But something holds you back, a strong force. This is the other side of the oxymoronic emotions. You have to fight against this force of fear or you'll never make it anywhere in life. You'll just sit there idling, waiting for an imaginary somebody to come along and give you a jump start on life.

The reason I write this is because many students come out of high school with the unreasonable belief that they can just take the world on and that nothing will be able to hurt them. Because of this, they don't stop and think about what they're doing. The repercussions of their actions continue to hurt them for many years afterwards. The world hurts them without mercy because they failed to yield to its demands. Once in a while, something of great import happens in a person's life. At these times, one must make a great decision that could possibly change the course of the rest of their life. It's like coming to a crossroads in your life and trying to determine the best possible path. Of course there are many paths, and no path may lead exactly the direction you want it to go. Commencement Day is one of these times at which such a momentous crossroads is come upon.

One may think, "I will just take the right path." Easy to say perhaps, but is it easy to do? How would a person know which path is the right one? There are so many different ways to go, each one having a different outcome, each one putting you at a different ending place in life. So do you just choose the route you're going to take, without any planning beforehand? This would not be a wise thing to do, as chances are that you would not choose a right path. No, you must use previous knowledge and experience to try and determine the best path. You must carefully examine each possible path and where they each end up. Look at people you've known, the paths that they took, and where they are now. Like any significant decision that must be made, life after high school is something that needs to carefully be preplanned. It can be likened to leaving on a road trip. Would you just jump in your car with no previous preparation and drive to California? I think not, as this would require analyzing the situation.

Adults often expect much from kids. Too much, perhaps. Sure, we don't have as much experience and wisdom as adults. But we're not totally ignorant either. A lot of times, when adults expect much from a teenager, the teenager doesn't live up to the adult's expectations. This causes adults to stereotype kids as being negligent, unwilling, or uncaring. I'll have to admit that most teenagers are like that. Immaturity abounds in the typical teenager's mind. Most of them really only care about members of the opposite sex and what parties everyone's going to next weekend.

Some of them could care less that they have a Calculus test next period because they haven't even opened their Calculus book the whole semester. They might even just expect that everything be handed to them on a silver platter, that life is just a game that is played. In this game, they may believe that there are no referees to control it, that they can do whatever they feel like, regardless of the consequences. The truth is that life is not a game. It's not just something that can be taken for granted and breezed through impulsively, without a second thought.

Of course, a teenager alone cannot handle all the responsibilities that life throws at them after graduation. They need the guidance of an older adult, whether it be a professor, a parent, or just an older friend. Although it may be thought by the teenager that they can just run out and conquer the world, this is not so. In their run to conquer it, they may lose their footing and fall. Such matters as college, finances, and housing weigh heavily on the minds of a future graduate. The instability of the world situation makes stress and fear ever so present. Older adults can help inexperienced ones deal with such pressures.

It is often said that moments last but a second, but the memories last a lifetime. This is very true with high school. Friends that you have known for many years will suddenly be gone. This thought may bring pain at just the mentioning of it, for your friends can never be replaced. High school forms memories which will reside forever - the smell of Mrs. Raine's classroom on a cold November morning; the strange facial twitches that Mr. Holste has; the appalling scene of the school grounds shrouded in toilet paper during Homecoming week. The memories, whether they are good or bad, will be with you forever.

People often ask me how I came to choose what I will do after high school. I think for a moment about what I will reply to them. Then I tell them that I didn't make my decision. I say that everyone in my life made it for me. Everyone that I have ever known or even seen has helped shape my life to become what it is today. My friends, my family and other relatives, the old lady in the grocery store that I let go before me because all she was buying was a bag of apples...they have all guided my path and helped make my decision of life after high school. I really have had no influence on my decision, because I have learned from others.

If you really think about it, nobody in this world really has any idea at all where they're headed in life. Sometimes, things happen that nobody can control. I can speak from personal experience on this matter, due to the fact that things haven't been the greatest for me in the past year. Nobody can know what will happen to them or their loved ones at any point in time. If something were to happen to a loved one, dwelling on it sulkily wouldn't be the thing to do. There would be grief, of course, but you can't dwell on it forever. You would have to let go. It may take time to let go, but eventually the grief would subside. Any memories that you have from them would bring far greater joy than the grief of losing them. There are two important things to remember about this. They are: that nothing can replace the memories of your loved ones and that nothing can take your memories away. You have them indefinitely.

So the next time you are alone and have some time to yourself, remember that outside, there is a far greater world. It can be dangerous at times, as well as very rewarding. Just don't be in such haste that you do not look before you leap. You may plunge, leaving you vulnerable to be hurt by the world. Don't base all your decisions solely on the wants of oneself, use logic and clear thinking. Learn from others and do not make the same mistakes. Enjoy the moments, share the memories. Take time to yourself sometimes, leave the world behind. Take to wing and fly off to the clouds. Be yourself, hold your head up high, and be proud of who you are. Never take 'No' for an answer. Go to the places you've never been, see the things you've never seen, and dream the things you've never dreamed. These are the confessions of a near future graduate.

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